Meet the Leeds model spreading a message of self-love as she competes in the UK's National Miss pageant

After losing her gran to coronavirus, breaking out of a relationship and struggling with depression, the 30-year-old had lost her drive and creative spark.

Now crowned Ms Leeds in the UK's National Miss pageant, the Beeston mum-of-one, who goes by the alias Esmeralda V, has turned her life around and is committed to inspiring other women.

As a teenager, she struggled with low confidence and self-esteem and waved away suggestions that she should take up modelling.

“I never believed in myself,” Esmeralda told the Yorkshire Evening Post

“A lot of people told me I should do modelling because I came across so confident, I stole the show at the Easter bonnet parade!

“But I never really had an interest in fashion and I was bullied at school for being overweight.”

Esmeralda experienced abuse on social media platforms as a teenager, a problem which she says has been exasperated for young girls today.

She added: “I think these issues have always been around, it just manifests itself in different ways.

"Whether it's Bebo, Facebook or moving to Instagram, there will always be a new platform that it happens on.”

Esmeralda works with children in care and although she loves making a difference to the lives of the young people, she was missing an outlet to let her creativity shine.

And in 2020, Esmeralda lost one of her biggest supporters - her gran.

Unable to say goodbye due to Covid restrictions at the care home she was living in, her death rocked Esmeralda.

“I couldn’t grieve properly," she said.

“I went to the end of my mum’s gate and I couldn’t hug her when she was crying. It was a really difficult time.

“She was absolutely hilarious and would have loved my modelling career. I was once in Take a Break as a Christmas elf, it was on the front cover and my grandma was so proud of me."

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After leaving a difficult relationship and moving out with her 11-year-old son, Esmeralda was diagnosed with depression and struggled with feelings of low self-worth.

One day, after spotting a social media post of her at the gym, she was approached by a photographer who asked her to model for a gym-style shoot.

It was the start of her modelling career and after connecting with people on local Facebook groups, work started pouring in.

Esmeralda said: "It was scary starting out on my own, I was devastated for a long time.

"I felt like there was something really wrong with me, because no one talks about it.

"I shared a lot of my mental health journey on Instagram and I was very honest, I'd tell people on days I was struggling.

“People started to reach out to me saying they felt the same, thanking me for being honest and telling me I wasn’t alone.

“When you have depression, you feel really lonely. So it really helped when people online would share little messages of support."

Esmeralda has been featured on the front covers of national magazines and is now in-the-running for the ultimate pageant accolade, National Ms.

Finding outfits to wear, new concepts to shoot and reels to post on social media reignited her drive and she's determined to use her newly-found confidence to inspire other women.

“Modelling makes me feel empowered," Esmeralda added.

"My self-worth had been so low, I was carrying this burden around that I’m not good enough. I’m still on a journey but when I’m on the shoots, I feel like I'm worth something.”

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Esmeralda has hosted female empowerment photoshoots for women in Leeds, the first themed around body-confidence and the second, a bridal-themed shoot in December, around self-love.

She said: “The idea was that we don’t need to marry anyone else, we need to love ourselves.

“We had a diverse range of women, all different skin colours and body types. They worked great together and it was so powerful, everyone was cheering each other on.

“It’s so important that, as women, we build each other up. The more people we’ve got rooting for us, the better.

"Empowered women empower women."

Spreading a message of self-love

Esmeralda uses her platform on social media to spread a message of self-love, encouraging women to pursue their dreams - however unreachable they may feel.

“Believing in yourself is hard, I get that," she said.

"When I was at my lowest, I didn’t want to do anything. There was no drive there.

"But everything starts with self-love. When you focus on yourself and what you love, everything else will just fall into place.

“I never thought I’d be a model, but the world is crying out for diversity. All you need to be a model is confidence - or fake it until you make it.

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"You might be nervous, but if you push yourself to do something, what’s the worst that can happen? Just go for it and then at least you can say you’ve given it a try."

Eyeing up the crown for the UK's national miss

Esmeralda is representing Leeds in the UK's National Miss pageant, competing for the National Ms. category for women aged 30-44.

The overall winner will be crowned during the final, held in March, where Esmeralda will take part in photoshoots, empowerment workshops and pyjama parties, before starting rehearsals, interviews with judges and then taking to the stage.

She said: “I thought they’d made a mistake, it didn't sink in

"That self-doubt is so deep to my core and that’s why I’m trying to work on it so much.

“There’s such a lovely vibe between the girls and it's a great environment to be in. Nobody is competing against each other, it seems to be exactly what I stand for - female empowerment.

“I feel proud to represent Leeds. I love Leeds and I’ve had so much support from the city."

Founded in 2020 by Holly Pirrie, the competition combines the glamour of pageants with team-building activities, promising opportunities to make memories that last a lifetime.

The winner will receive a glittering prize package including a hotel retreat, a Royalty photoshoot and lashes, cupcakes and perfume.

Entries are judged partly on charitable work and contributions to society, something that Esmeralda said is often overlooked in people's ideas of the pageant world.

She is currently raising money for Zarach, a Leeds based charity aiming to end child poverty, offering photographers the chance to win a photoshoot through a JustGiving page.

Esmeralda added: "It's pushing me to want to do more positive work and spread my positive message in better ways, raising as much money as I can for good causes.”

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