National Carers Week: ‘I felt unheard during mum’s Alzheimer’s battle – now I’m helping others like me’

Sherry King, who lives in Collingham, spent years looking after others – but could not find the emotional or practical support she needed for herself.

Now, she’s on a mission to help those who find themselves in the same situation she did.

The 45-year-old is the founder of Sandwich Generation Support, an organisation that offers support to people who care for their elderly relatives and children simultaneously.

Her experience as a carer came as her mum, Pauline Hirst, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2019.

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Sherry had three young children at the time, but found herself contributing significantly to her mother’s care.

“It started with little things, like she was repeating herself,” explained Sherry.

“As the Alzheimer’s progressed, it became very full on, because she wasn’t able to do things for herself and would forget a lot.

“I remember very clearly one time we were sat in the garden and she didn’t realise she had a child at all.

“Her memory would come and go. It was like a library where certain books would disappear, then return, before disappearing again.

“Certainly at the end, she didn’t know who I was, or the kids or my husband. She knew my dad’s name was Keith, but she didn’t associate that name with the 70-year-old man in front of her.”

Sherry said that she needed support – both emotional and practical – but found that there was none available for carers in her position.

“I was raising three kids and working full time in the NHS,” she explained. “It was emotionally draining and I was absolutely shattered. It felt like I had to be everything for everybody, but I still wasn’t doing enough.”

Pauline sadly died in 2022 at the age of 70. It was then that Sherry decided to apply for voluntary redundancy from her managerial role in the NHS and set up Sandwich Generation Support.

The initiative followed frustrations that she was not able to share her experience with others.

She said: “When I talk about the emotions that I was feeling, one of the main ones was anger. I wasn’t being heard.”

Her new role sees her lead one-to-one sessions with people in the sandwich generation (those who have elderly or ill relatives as well as children) struggling to keep up with the demands of being carers.

She also works with big companies, coaching bosses on how best to support their employees. Sherry counts among her clients huge pharmaceuticals companies, charities and the NHS.

But she argued that more still needs to be done.

“There are 2.4 million people who are hidden in this ‘sandwich generation’, but there is no strategy to support them,” said Sherry.

She has joined calls for a new National Carers Strategy, which campaigners - including charity Carers UK - have said would enable the government to recognise the challenges faced by millions of unpaid carers.

The government has not published a National Carers Strategy since 2008, despite the argument that this would help to improve the health and wellbeing of carers, as well as their finances and access to care and support.