If Britain Means Business, why don't we frack Farage? - Abi Whistance

From the Bovril boys that brought you 'Leave Means Leave', Farage and his yeasty accomplice Richard Tice welcome to the stage the even more toe-curling 'Britain Means Business'.

By Abi Whistance
Saturday, 12th March 2022, 11:45 am

Someone please put Nigel Farage back under the rock he's crawled out from.

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Notorious for his campaigning to leave the EU and, regrettably, winning, I was certain the only thing that old Nigel had left to fight for was bringing back smoking in pubs.

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Former Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage appearing on the BBC1 current affairs programme, The Andrew Marr Show. Photo: Jeff Overs/BBC

But alas, this week the people's champion of holding a pint for a photo op managed to conjure up enough gusto to burst back out onto the political scene with something even more obscene than last time.

From the Bovril boys that brought you 'Leave Means Leave', Farage and his yeasty accomplice Richard Tice welcome to the stage the even more toe-curling 'Britain Means Business'.

This new endeavour from the formidable duo calls for the abandonment of Boris Johnson’s green policy, which Farage describes as, much like his 2009 expenses blunder, “a scandal of epic proportions”.

The climate strategy outlined how the UK plans to reach its target of net zero emissions by 2050, and although many warned it did not provide enough investment to make a notable change, I can bet on these pair being the only two to vote heads-down thumbs-up for setting fire to the planet while we are all still on it.

Boys. Please.

As a testament to how unstable this stab in the dark already is, Britain Means Business has already in its infancy been rebranded to the ever-delightful 'Power Not Poverty' - a slogan that tactfully disguises its aims to fire up British coal mines and start drilling for shale gas.

But the pair seem to have flashed their cards a bit too early on this one; their demand for an increase in oil reliance in the midst of a Russian invasion treading a little too close to the line to be another one of Farage's 'innocent blunders'.

Now, as we all know, shale gas can be found inside bits of rock made up of clay and crust, much like what makes up the insides of that political vulture.

Yet unlike fracking for natural gas in Yorkshire and Lancashire, there would be little to no chance of chemical water pollution if we fracked Farage.

That's food for thought.

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