'I had to watch her writhe in pain': Leeds man joins assisted dying group after watching terminally ill mum die of cancer

A Leeds man has joined forces with an assisted dying group after being forced to watch his terminally ill mother 'writhe in pain' as she died from cancer.
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David Lowther, 34, has now joined forces with the Dignity in Dying campaign group.

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Speaking to the YEP, David described the last days of his mother’s life as being like a 'nightmare'.

Speaking to the YEP, David described the last days of his mother’s life as being like a 'nightmare'. Picture: Tony Johnson.Speaking to the YEP, David described the last days of his mother’s life as being like a 'nightmare'. Picture: Tony Johnson.
Speaking to the YEP, David described the last days of his mother’s life as being like a 'nightmare'. Picture: Tony Johnson.
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She was sedated to keep her comfortable, but kept waking up. On one of these occasions she told David that she was 'drowning' as she choked on her own phlegm.

In the last moments of her life, David had to listen to her breathing becoming more and more strained as fluid leaked into her lungs.

"She went into hospital on December 22, 2019 and she never came out again. She died in the March and what she went through was just unbelievable. Every time I saw her she was getting worse and feeling worse." he said.

"The last week of my mum's life was horrendous and the last thing she said to me consciously, without being medicated, was 'I'm sorry' and I know that's because she had watched her parents die of cancer and knew what we were going to go through."

David admitted that those final days became a blur as he with his father and two sisters by his side could only sit and watch his mum deteriorate.David admitted that those final days became a blur as he with his father and two sisters by his side could only sit and watch his mum deteriorate.
David admitted that those final days became a blur as he with his father and two sisters by his side could only sit and watch his mum deteriorate.
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David admitted that those final days became a blur as he with his father and two sisters by his side could only sit and watch his mum deteriorate.

"She was terrified and we just had three, four days of watching this strong, funny, powerful and loving woman just writhe in pain and beg for medication and it was just painful to watch." he explained.

"She was such a strong person but was clearly so terrified of what was happening to her and there was just nothing we could do but watch and tell her that we were there."

David joined forces with Dignity in Dying following mum's death in the hopes that other terminally ill people can have more peaceful deaths than his mum had.

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His mother has previously campaigned for assisted dying and wanted that option for herself when she became ill.

Dignity in Dying, who have been campaigning for almost 80 years, recently launched a petition calling on the government to legalise assisted dying, and to make parliamentary time to hold a debate on the issue. The petition currently has over 40,000 signatures.

Lord Forsyth recently brought an amendment to the Health and Care Bill in the House of Lords that, if successful would bind the government to putting an Assisted Dying Bill to parliament within a year.

84 per cent of the British public are believed to support the legalisation of assisted dying.

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Sarah Wootton, Chief Executive of Dignity in Dying, said: “David’s mother’s story highlights the inescapable truth that even with excellent palliative care, a significant number of dying people are facing pain and lack of control over their deaths.

"Our research found that even if everyone in the UK had access to excellent hospice care at the end of life, 17 people every day would die without adequate pain relief. An assisted dying law would give dying people more control and choice at the end of their lives, so they can die at a time of their choosing and avoid an agonising end to their lives."

Such is David's desire to push for change, he has recently handed in his notice at his place of work, a job he has been doing for 10 years.

"I'm going to be doing some on the ground activism and living off my savings just to try and get people to really start listening to the issue." he said.

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"Many argue that it could be misused and I totally understand that and that's why we want to have a rigorous system that means it is offered to the right people and deployed in the right way. It's not a warm and fluffy subject but it's a necessary one."

Dignity in Dying are hoping that an assisted dying law can be introduced for terminally ill people who are of sound mind and have six months or less to live.

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