Danny Malin shares his top 'fakeaways' and how to make them after BBC Young Masterchef appearance

From beer-battered fish and chips cooked in beef dripping with mushy samphire to chicken on a barbecue with Portuguese rice and another dish of banging Bhajis, I had the pleasure of judging some awesome ‘fakeaways’ on BBC’s Young MasterChef. 

People don’t see it, but I love cooking at home including my ‘fat man specials’ and my own fakeaways. Mind you, this doesn’t replace my routine of a Saturday night takeaway. 

As a renowned takeaway reviewer - or the ‘takeaway king’ as the BBC called me - here are my favourite fakeaways.

Make-your-own pizza

I’m not often a pizza man unless it’s a proper Italian style pizza with fresh good quality ingredients, rather than the deep pan American stuff with plastic cheese.

I do, however, enjoy a pizza at home and I’ve got a pizza oven in my shed bar. It makes banging pizzas or naan pizzas.

I did try to cook Yorkshire Puddings in there too once, but that just burnt them to a cinder. I rarely have to make my own dough so it’s thin enough.

Instead, I buy ready-made sourdough bases and use a tin of puréed tomatoes on top with posh ingredients such as mozzarella, salami, onions and mushrooms with some cheap cheddar to grate on top.

If I don’t have ingredients in, I use wraps, bagels or naan breads as a base. And a selection of ingredients from the fridge as a white pizza drizzled with olive oil, salt and pepper. If I’m being super lazy, I like the kids supermarket own brand pizzas in the microwave. 

Homemade curry 

I’m particular when it comes to my Indian food, especially with a soft, fluffy and fresh naan bread.

When I’m making an Indian at home I don’t have naan bread with it, I keep it simple. Just curry and rice. 

My wife and I learned to make a mean masala spice mix from scratch by chef Freda Shafi. We then turned it into chicken tikka masala. 

She likes to use a rice cooker whereas I just bang in the microwave some Uncle Bens rice. I also like using mayflower curry sauce if I’m short of time with chicken, mushroom and onions in. But I'm against too many vegetables in any curry. 

Sophie once made me a chicken saag with spinach which I refused to eat because of the sheer green-ness. I like spice, meat and onions. Plus some mushrooms if I’m feeling healthy. 

Chinese at home 

I’m known for reviewing munch boxes from Chinese takeaways and even salt and peppered potato smiles - which you could do at home. 

But my Mrs, who is mixed race Chinese and English, disagrees that this is Chinese food. She will make a sweet and sour sauce from scratch with tomato sauce or sherry, brown sugar, soy sauce, rice vinegar, corn flour and some pineapple juice. 

T’old wife uses this to make sweet and sour chicken for me or aubergine for herself as she’s a veggie. I know she makes her own egg and sweetcorn soup for the kids too but I avoid that like the plague. As well as her air fryer kale in oil and five spices which is supposed to be like crispy seaweed. 

Dirty fries

Dirty fries are another easy one to do at home, using frozen fries or chips. Or if you’re being healthier, chop some potatoes into wedges and season with salt, pepper, paprika and fry light and bang in the oven or airfryer.

Then we add cheese, garlic mayo, tomato sauce or bacon, cheese and seasoning. 

Roast dinner butty 

I love a hot butty from the butchers whether it be steak, pork or roast beef, but I love the one I make on the Monday after a solid roast dinner. 

I make leftover meat into a sandwich and then I use the juices in a thick stodgy gravy to dip the sandwich into. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. 

If I’ve got a lot of meat and vegetables left I sometimes make a pie too with a short crust bottom and a puff pastry top. They’re so good I think they rival the famous Wakefield Pie shop. 

Shish kebabs

I’m known for my doner kebabs but not homemade ones, unless I’m pinching some doner meat from my son's frozen meal. 

I’m more likely to make myself a shish kebab on the barbecue. I also like to barbecue smashed burgers or chicken drumsticks. 

I loved how the Young MasterChef contestants made their fakeaways authentic by cooking chicken on the barbecue. 

While fakeaways make a nice option for tea, I don’t think they’ll ever fully replace my takeaways because you can’t beat the ease of the whole experience. 

By Danny Mei Lan Malin (dannymalin.co.uk/ldcradio.co.uk)