I went on the Grand Train Tour of Switzerland - and this is why I found myself at the height of luxury

Transports of delight come no more captivating than Grand Train Tour of Switzerland, smoother than König of Chocolate Lindt, punctual as Karlsson cuckoo clocks, precise like Tissot timepieces.

Clichéd stereotypes aside, cross-country superior service's track record remains second to none, offering rail buffs unparalleled experiences, brilliant as "blossom of snow" edelweiss blanketing alpine slopes alongside.

Pint-sized Portillo, minus Michael's Bradshaw's 1913 Guide and ostentatious outfits, I was fortunate to experience just such first class opulence, satisfying beyond rösti and raclette.

Entire route spans spectacular 1,280 kilometres across eight sections, alongside 11 large lakes and five UNESCO World Heritage Sites, four mother tongues speaking international language of timeless travel, GTTS rolling stock-in-trade.

“Life is a journey, not a destination, and train travel embodies that philosophy perfectly,” said some scribe, unknown, truism shamelessly plagiarised.

Written word's found wanting, failing to do justice to such awe-inspiring adventures, but God reportedly loves a trier, so come on, come on, do the loco-motion with me ...

GTTS Day -1

There's no better pre-Eurostar stopover for we northern types than by joining Bloomsbury set within Mercure London Hotel. Wide range of restaurants and pubs - including, around a corner, crimson crannied The Queen's Larder - surround upscale capital base camp. Relaxed slumber among 100-plus well appointed four star rooms sees departure day dawn on short steps to Russell Square tube link, or leisurely stroll through aesthetically architectural cityscape, to easily accessible St Pancras starting point.

Overnight accommodation is available for £123 including breakfast and tickets to see Tina Turner musical for January 2025 dates, Holiday Extras offering London theatre break hotels as well as being UK airport parking, lounges and transfers market leader.

GTTS Day 1

What's got six stations and eight hours? St Pancras Eurostar cosseted comfort to majestic Montreux via Paris Gare Du Nord and Gare du Lyon as well as Geneva and Lausanne transfers, succession of trains taking strain of full day's tremendous travel.

Grand Hôtel Suisse Majestic is shore-fire success, Marriott Autograph collection splendour overlooking Toblerone peaks and shimmering lake, reflecting Belle Époque golden bygones, complete with 155 elegant rooms, lobby, bar and "individual as possible, unique as usual" 45 Grill & Health restaurant.

GTTS Day 2

Château de Chillon wasn't Disney's The Little Mermaid deuteragonist Prince Eric's castle inspiration for nothing, medieval fairy tale fortress enjoying rocky islet protection, Swiss Cultural Property of National Significance strategic position occupied by House of Savoy and Bernese to today's canton de Vaud. You can suggest your own punchlines about latrine court jester tasked to entertain masters "on the throne".

Truly "A Kind of Magic," Freddie Tours takes fans of the king of Queen on excursions, equally entertaining and edifying, charting the iconic rocker's Mercurial success, visiting casino studios and fist-raised statue, interactive audio guides rich with anecdotes aplenty about classic albums recorded and key collaboration with equally late great David Bowie, fellow lover of these climes. And so to Spiez up our life but, M&S style, not just on any train, GoldenPass Express Prestige Class, complete with appetising snack platter to savour along arguably this handsome land’s most picturesque route, offering uninterrupted views of peerless panoramas, breathtaking as Monte Rosa massif mountain walk.

Inclement weather rained on Alpine Weinkultur guided tour parade but, spirits far from dampened, we instantly warmed to "Alps in a glass" tasting of character wines, satisfying bounty of steep-sloped vineyards where timeless passion and viticulture craftsmanship combine in finest fruity fusion.

Warm welcome awaits at Belvédère Strandhotel - "your island in everyday life since 1908" - four star superb hospitality, traditional as Schwingen alpine wrestling or Sechseläuten Snowman Burning Festival, commanding private beach view, 56 stylish rooms and suites designed for restorative relaxation.

GTTS Day 3

Thun-day dawns cruising across cobalt lake, overshadowed by Bernese Oberland range of Eiger, Mönch and Jungfrau famous heights, surrounded by five historic castles and assorted isolated homesteads, clinging resolutely to sheer hillsides like stranded steinbock.

Luzern-Interlaken Express return leg, flagged as "unforgettable," is just that ... and much more! Bowling through country's beating heart, scenic route skirts cascading waterfalls and five crystal clear lakes before crossing imposing Brünig mountain pass, on-board bistro fine fare adding to memorable enjoyment, track-side white on red national standard-wavers also proving big plus!

"Lucerne as it lives and breathes," home-style cosy Bürgerstube buzzes like black bees populating foothills, furnished since 1908 in neo-Gothic style, all dark wood and slug windows. To that end "here you can experience unspoilt times and enjoy them as our ancestors did". Already missing melted cheese traditional dish, proving absence does indeed make the heart grow fondue!

Family values permeate Hotel Drei Könige, accommodation for eponymous three kings, standing proud in Bruch district prime position, exuding charm undiminished since 1909.

"Although we hold our long-standing tradition near and dear, we take pride in keeping up with the times," assure owners.

GTTS Day 4

Lucerne guided tour, heritage meets humour, discovers secret squares and concealed alleys as well as Reuss-spanning Kapellbrücke covered wooden footbridge and city's crowning glory Musegg Wall. Rosengart Collection as well as Wagner, transport and art museums equally demand visitors' attention.

I picked a fine time to leave you Lucerne! But, no matter, Gotthard Panorama Express sail-rail transport of delight follows, steamboat paddles ferrying to Flüelen, waterside attractions including Rütliwiese, Schillerstein and Tell Chapel - of apple-on-the-head marksman William fame - greeting guests with Cailler confectionary box charm.

Disembarking, we're Mediterranean Bellinzona-bound, heading south like migratory storks, via 1882-constructed Gotthard tunnel and lofty landscapes, beautiful beyond compare. Heady highlights include Wassen church, viewed from no fewer than three angles from cosy carriages, curving kinking tracks looping like schoolkids' dream Hornby model railway.

"At Fiorentina Restaurant you will spend unforgettable moments in unique environment that encompasses beauties of historical and contemporary architecture at the same time" claim does exactly what is says on the tin of Hero ravioli, popular staple around Locarno environs.

Superbly situated within short walk of Piazza Grande and castle, as well as all transport links, Hotel Garni Muralto boasts 34 tastefully decorated rooms over five floors, lake-side balcony views literally on another level.

GTTS Day 5

Penultimate day sees us, Brit pub rockers Dr. Feelgood-style, down by the jetty, crossing tranquil turquoise Maggiore waters to floating gardens of isolated Isole di Brissago, channelling cult classic '70s film The Whicker Man, only less sinister! Botanical natural paradise offers refuge to 1,500 subtropical plant types carefully cultivated since 19th century, surrounding mountainous chains affording climatic shelter.

Russian baroness Antoinette Saint-Léger and German retail giant Max Emden, brains behind neo-classic villa, are to thank for such unexpected delights as camphor-scented Himalayan cinnamon, Madagascar gladioli and trunk-swamped North American naked cypress. Ascona, spectrum of multi-coloured bay-side buildings, home to annual music fest and all that jazz, yields to Locarno return, buoyed by packed lunch sustenance, before continued on-board delights.

Vigezzina-Centovalli Railway literally crosses borders, Italian connection secured in Domodossola, narrow-gauge line traversing wild chestnut forests and vine-clad inclines along 50 kilometres across Centovalli and Valle Vigezzo, beside meandering Melezza river, thickly forested highlands interspersed with rugged rocks, formed millions of years past.

Celiers de Sion wine-tasting awaits, fusion of two families' friendship, Maisons Bonvin 1858 and Varone Vins' shared skills and traditions oenopark partnership smoother than majorly moreish samples - even to ale-swilling philistines among us! - one vintage travelling well to find favour within Bettys tearooms in native Yorkshire.

And so to bed, only after hearty final dinner and few fond farewell refreshments, at Hôtel Elite, home to 35 comfortable rooms, restaurant, terrace and café, all imbued with home-from-home friendly family welcome.

GTTS Day 6

Heavy luggage - with matching heart - return rail travel includes Sion, Lausanne, Geneva, Paris Gare de Lyon and Gare du Nord transfers before Eurostar treatment back to Blighty, arriving St Pancras, enervated but, paraphrasing revered man of letters Samuel Johnson, convinced “when a man is tired of Grand Train Tour of Switzerland, he is tired of life".

Fact file

Grand Train Tour of Switzerland: Visit travelswitzerland.com Travel Switzerland: Exclusive travel tickets include The Swiss Travel Pass, offering unlimited travel on consecutive days across rail, bus and boat networks, covering scenic routes and local services around 90 towns and cities, also including Swiss Museum Pass, allowing free entrance to 500 exhibitions. Visit travelswitzerland.com

Switzerland Tourism: Visit switzerland.com