500 Shades of Summer

Something I often think about is summer.

No, not the season. The character. Summer finn from ‘5oo days of summer’.

The rom-com that our algorithm has been infatuated with for a while now. Even if you haven't seen the movie, it is near impossible that you’ve missed a specific scene from the movie. Here is how it goes:

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Summer: “smiths?”

[tom with headphones on. can’t hear anything]

Tom: “hi”

Summer: “I love the smiths.”

Tom; “sorry?”

[removes headphones]

Summer: “i said love the smiths”

[sing song voice]

“To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.”

“I love ‘em. You’ve good taste in music”

[summer exits]

[Tom stares in amusement]

Tom; “Holy shit.”

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This one scene has driven so many of us to go actually watch the film. Including myself. This is simply because the scene serves the idea of a classic meet-cute revolving around most rom-coms. A silly little encounter that leads the main character to find the love of his or her life. An idea that we’re so collectively drawn to because it satisfies the diplomatic romanticist part of our brains. The “Tom” part of our brains.oops.

Tom (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is the classic hopeless romantic, and when he meets Summer (Zooey Deschanel), he projects his fantasy of the perfect relationship onto her. Summer on the other hand is portrayed as the cynic or the realist or as most men like to say, "the bitch who broke Tom's heart."

Even Though the movie is entirely portrayed through Tom’s lens, Summer’s character has always stuck with me. I relate and feel for her, and surely, many others do too. Which is why it bothers me how often she is misunderstood.

Right at the beginning when the narrator introduces us to the characters we are told this about summer; "since the disintegration of her parent's marriage, she'd only loved two things. The first was her long, dark hair. the second was how she could easily cut it off and feel nothing."

This statement is such a powerful description of who summer actually is as a person. It has been made clear that summer experiences love in a way that it doesn't overpower her which then makes her detachment from it, apathetic.

And does that make her a bad person? A cynic? I don't think so. If a person like Tom can exist, who experiences emotions (especially love) in a powerful way, then it is perfectly normal for a person who experiences emotions in an enervated way to co-exist. I think the problem here isn't that summer is a “cynic” , the problem here is that summer is a woman who refuses to fit into gender roles. She’s not “emotional enough” to validate a man’s need for a woman to be dependent on him. And we all know Society loves to demonize women who don’t fit into the neat, romanticized boxes we expect them to. Summer doesn’t believe in love—gasp!-what a heartless bitch.

In the karaoke scene, Tom’s friend Mckenzie asks Summer if she has a boyfriend. Summer makes it clear to both the men that she has no interest whatsoever in being “anyone’s girlfriend.” She tells them that she is “not comfortable being anyone’s anything”. Mckenzie refuses to believe her. This scene is so important because it portrays exactly how an average male thinks. Which also explains why so many men have a problem with summer’s character. Media and pop culture has ingrained into our brains that the woman in the story must always be more subverted towards the idea of love. She must always be young, beautiful, emotionally passive, dependent, and sometimes unintelligent. This portrayal has affected a large audience over the years, including women themselves. Which is why it is so hard for Mckenzie, an average male, to understand that a woman could simply enjoy her own company.

In the following scene, summer also mentions that “relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt.” She says that she is young and wants to enjoy her time in one of the world's most beautiful cities, and leave the serious stuff for later. From the start, she’s transparent with Tom about not wanting a relationship. Her honesty about her feelings doesn’t make her cold; it makes her authentic.

Tom then asks her what if she falls in love? To which summer says “there is no such thing as love, it’s a fantasy.” Now it’s so important to look back a little and understand where she is coming from. At the beginning we were told that Summer's parents had divorced when she was only very young. This might be one of the reasons why the concept of love is a bit vague and unrealistic for her. It's because she really never had the exposure of a loving relationship growing up. She also mentions that she has been in relationships in the past where he’s “never seen it”. This statement isn’t born out of cruelty but simply from her lived experiences. Her past relationships left her disillusioned and She’s never seen love as something real or lasting. Aren’t People’s beliefs ultimately shaped by their experiences? So then for Summer isn’t it only understandable that she is skeptical of love because it is something she has never truly encountered?

Here’s when things get a little messy.

When Tom’s friend mentions that Tom likes summer, She appears to be intrigued by this statement. And Just before leaving she asks Tom if it is true that he likes her. Tom, who is totally caught off guard, says he does like her- as a friend. Now come on, we all know this man was head over heels for her from the moment he first saw her. So then why does he lie? simple, it's because he wants to give Summer the answer he thinks she wants to hear. This was definitely a mistake on Tom’s part, but I don't think it makes him a bad person. People often say one thing and feel another, not out of malice, but because being honest about our emotions is hard, especially when we're afraid of rejection. Tom’s lie wasn’t evil—it was just human. Exactly how Summer’s intention was when she kisses Tom in the office the next day.

Actually, Here’s when things get a little messy.

Yes, Summer kisses Tom. In a photocopy room (very romantic). This is a moment that seems contradictory to all her earlier statements about not wanting a relationship. But if you really think about it, this action isn’t a betrayal of her words; it’s just another example of how people often act in ways that don’t align perfectly with their intentions. Just like Tom did the previous night.

It’s undeniable that Summer is drawn to Tom. He’s charming, shares her taste in music, has a hidden passion for architecture, and, let’s be honest, he’s pretty cute. (Joseph Gordon, the man that you are)

Just like Tom said one thing and felt another, perhaps Summer did too. Her kiss wasn’t a declaration of love or a promise of commitment; it was a spontaneous moment of connection. What this scene really shows is that neither Tom nor Summer is perfect. They're both navigating their feelings, sometimes clumsily, sometimes contradictorily, because that’s what humans do. We all have moments where we act on impulse or say one thing while feeling another. So, instead of putting the blame on Summer for kissing Tom, it’s only fair to recognize that she, like Tom, is just trying to figure things out in her own way.

Interestingly, I also believe that it is also very possible that Tom’s response is what prompts Summer to pursue a non-serious relationship with him from the start. He did say he liked her “as a friend”. By downplaying his feelings, maybe Tom unknowingly reinforces Summer’s belief that a causal connection is all they’re both looking for? Had Tom been upfront about his true emotions, perhaps things would have unfolded differently?

Tom and Summer’s relationship now begins to bloom. They seem happy together, going on dates, laughing, and sharing intimate moments. On the surface, it looks like a perfect romance, but there are subtle cracks that hint at deeper issues beneath the surface. One of these moments occurs when Tom and Summer visit an ikea furnishing store. Tom playfully jokes, “Hon, the sink is broken,”. While Tom is fully engaged in this fantasy of a future with Summer, she appears distant, lost in her own thoughts. I think this reveals that Summer has her own internal struggles, and Tom, caught up in his romantic idealization of her, fails to notice. Because the movie is presented from Tom’s point of view, many viewers overlook these subtle moments where Summer appears disconnected, seemingly trapped in her own world. These instances reflect her inner conflict, but Tom is too blinded by his infatuation to see them.

Following this scene, is another very important scene where we see Tom and Summer in an IKEA store on a different day. They race to the bedroom section, share a sweet moment, and everything seems perfect again. But then, Summer looks at Tom and says, “I’m not really looking for anything serious.” It appears to me that she is pretty clear about her stance, just as she was from the beginning. But Tom, yet again, simply agrees with her, brushing off her words without fully absorbing their meaning. As if he hadn't previously professed his love for her to his friend. Yet here he is, avoiding the reality of Summer’s feelings because he’s too desperate to keep her in his life. To him it is more important to please her than being truthful about his own desires and acknowledging hers.

Then comes another very important scene which is a window straight into Summer’s psych. When Summer takes Tom to her apartment, They lie on her bed, engaged in a quiet conversation. Summer begins to open up about her inner world and she shares a dream with Tom where she is flying, and says, “I am free, I am safe, and then I realize I’m completely alone.” This dream is so very profound because it tells us about summer and her relationship with loneliness. The fact that when she feels the most at freedom and safety, is also when she’s the most alone. The paradox she describes—feeling safest when alone, yet also feeling profoundly alone—reveals that her sense of security is intrinsically linked to solitude. That her safety and freedom come from being alone, suggesting that she finds true comfort in her independence and is wary of the vulnerabilities that come with intimacy. underscoring Her discomfort with the idea of being tied down by a relationship.

And here’s the funny thing, Mr hopeless romantic fails to notice this every time.

All the while Summer is baring her soul in this scene, Tom’s reaction is again disappointingly shallow. (wow what a shocker)

Instead of engaging with her feelings or trying even to understand her internal struggles, he is absorbed in his own sense of accomplishment. He thinks that because summer revealed such an intimate part of herself, it is a sign of his success in their relationship. This highlights Tom’s tendency to always view Summer through a distorted lens of personal validation.

It’s actually so frustrating to see that many people who criticize Summer’s character very conveniently overlook this significant character flaw in Tom. They might blame Summer for the relationship’s failure, but fail to recognize Tom was shallow and self-centered towards understanding her? And perhaps then, it is why summer could ultimately walk away from him so easily? Maybe summer’s ease in ending the relationship is not because of her character flaws but because of being seen through a lens of fantasy rather than reality?

Remember the scene where Tom and Summer go for a movie date? By the end of it, Summer bursts into tears. Tom fails to understand what had happened to her. Here’s what I think happened: In The Graduate, the wedding scene is a crucial turning point. The film depicts the impulsive decision of Benjamin to interrupt a wedding and declare his love for Elaine, leading to a dramatic escape. This scene captures a moment where both characters are overwhelmed by doubt, despite their passionate decisions. The euphoria of their impulsive act quickly gives way to the harsh reality. I think Summer’s tears during this scene reflect her deep resonance with the themes of The Graduate. Perhaps this scene mirrors her own notions about commitment and the potential for relationships to become entangled in unrealistic expectations and emotional turmoil.

And then dreadfulness happens, and they break up. During the breakup, Summer compares their tumultuous romance to that of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, iconic figures of rock and roll known for their destructive relationship. Tom tells her that he isn't like Sid to which she says “no, I am sid.”

I think Summer’s comparison to Sid reflects her internal struggles and sense of being trapped in a pattern of emotional chaos. Perhaps her identification as Sid signifies an acceptance of her own flaws and the messiness of her emotional life.

Also I really believe that summer’s decision to end the relationship was far from being heartless, it was in fact an act of bravery. Ending a relationship is never easy, and doing so while facing the possibility of being cast as the “bad guy” requires a whole lot of courage. And By taking this difficult step, Summer was confronting the reality of their situation and choosing to face the consequences of her actions, rather than continuing in a relationship that she knew was not right for either of them.

After this point, Tom's fantasy was finally met with the harsh reality that summer wasn’t “the one”. And even though he was portrayed to be the so called nice-guy all throughout the film, his nice guy personality crumbled down to nothing as soon as he was rejected by summer. His way to cope was to make summer the villain, again, instead of understanding where she was coming from. What she meant by the sid and nancy reference. Why did she cry after the movie? Why she felt the safest when most alone. Why is love such a hassle to her? Here’s the thing, admit it or not, Tom was self-absorbed. People often make Summer the villain in the story because it’s easier to blame the woman for not fulfilling the man’s expectations.

Another clear example of his ignorance is when after the wedding, summer invites him to her party. She says “it’s on our rooftop”. Now, to anyone paying attention, the word "our" here is as subtle as a neon sign flashing "WARNING: NEW BOYFRIEND AHEAD!"

but oh, not Tom. His ears hear “our rooftop,” but his brain translates it to “the place where our inevitable love story will have its grand sequel.”

Look, This moment isn’t just about Tom missing a hint; it’s more about his overall approach to their relationship. Time and time again, Tom chooses to see what he wants to see. I am not trying to villainize Tom here. I understand that the poor man just wants to find “the one” for him. All I am saying is, it is not fair to drop everything in summer when Tom’s character too in itself has major flaws.

After there breakup, summer ends up getting married. And While it is puzzling, it also does leave the viewers with a door to intriguing possibilities.

When Summer met her future husband, it’s possible that he offered her something Tom never could: a relationship where she felt secure, not smothered; understood, not idolized. And most of all, maybe summer felt seen. Perhaps this new man saw Summer for who she truly was, without the romantic filters and unrealistic expectations that Tom always had?

Of course, we never get to know who this new man is or what kind of relationship they have. For all we know, their marriage could be built on solid ground or it could be an impulsive decision driven by Summer’s desire to escape her “villain” reputation. Maybe she was tired of being labeled the heartless one and she wanted to prove—to herself or to others—that she was capable of finding happiness? It’s even possible that her marriage won’t last, that she and this new man will face the same challenges she feared with Tom. But that’s the thing: we don’t know, and we don’t need to know. That’s the point of the film.

What we do know is though, that Summer was never the heartless cynic she’s often made out to be. She was simply a woman navigating her feelings and trying to figure out what love meant to her. I understand that the movie was consciously made from Tom’s perspective which automatically draws the audience to empathize with him. However it is then also biased for random single men with little to no experience with women, to label summer as the “cynic bitch.” Summer’s journey was never about rejecting love altogether but about finding a version of it that felt right for her. If she found that with her new husband, then good for her. If not, well, that’s just another chapter in her story. Either way, Summer was never the villain. She was just human, figuring things out like the rest of us.

And Ultimately, 500 Days of Summer isn’t a story about a heartless woman destroying a man’s life. It’s a story about the dangers of idealization, the importance of communication, and the reality that not every relationship is meant to last. Summer is not a bitch; she’s a woman who knows her limits and communicates them. And honestly, that’s more than you can say for Tom. oops.