I’ve entered stage of my life where the universe stops giving and starts taking
with Dave Kelly
Setting his sights on “writing wrongs of the Universe” one column at a time is Dave Kelly
Death ... it’s the only guaranteed thing in life, folks, and that’s a fact. And it’s scary!
Teacher's words of wisdom
My old teacher used to say you’re born, you die and anything in between is a bonus.
Hopefully, that’s as basic an analysis as can be, but the one thing that we all have in common is that we are all going to go someday.
Let’s be clear, this has definitely been the hardest of years for many in a lifetime since the end of the war.
Most of us have had time to contemplate, process and, probably, overthink.
Dad's test results
My dad has had some tests recently and, as he is the wrong side of 75 (depending on who you ask) waiting for test results can be daunting.
Sometimes the wait for a result is worse than the final outcome.
I remember being stood outside the headmaster’s office, then being given a 30-second telling off after an hour of stressfully thinking I was crucifixion fodder!
Thankfully, he has been advised he has no immediate life-threatening issues.That’s a relief to us, for now.
Since being diagnosed with type two diabetes some years ago, he ends – and usually wins – arguments with the statement “you’re talkin’ to a man dyin’ o` betis”.
But there is no way this has stopped him living.
He has a basic routine of tormenting my kids, backing horses and, more importantly, trying to keep the family glued together.
Being the eldest in our family, he is the head of the clan.
In time, this honour will pass to another.
Yet, surely we are all dying of something, some more supposedly worthy of legitimate sympathy than others.
These are the strangest of times, where children are missing their grandparents, mourners must attend socially distanced funerals wearing masks and people not being able to say goodbye properly to friends and loved ones.
And it’s hard, it’s probably the hardest time for modern generations since the war
I appear to have entered the stage of life where the universe stops giving and starts taking people away, rapidly!
The grief process is different for all of us.
We really shouldn’t discount the pain caused by a loved one’s loss, whether we think that particular person was close to the departed or not.
Perhaps the realisation that nothing is permanent has crept up and the fear of the unknown is kicking in.More than death itself, maybe we should try overcoming the idea of death while we are alive?
After all, you beat millions of other sperm in the race for life, so you’ve achieved something amazing before you’ve even been born.
Perhaps we ought to aim to live a meaningful life and honour loved ones by living your own life in a way they would approve?
I don’t mean getting a “live, laugh love” tattoo across your back but, more perhaps, having a positive outlook towards others around you.
Sounding like Dickens
At the risk of sounding like Dickens’ repenting Ebenezer Scrooge, mankind should be our business.
Often the weeks that follow a final goodbye is when the grief kicks in, when reminders that the world won’t quite be the same again slowly kick in, and it hurts!
People have different ways of coping with a conscious awareness that we are all due to meet the big man in the sky at some point, so we must accept death as an essential part of life, whether we like it or not.
Is the way we die more important than the way we live?
Well, ask yourself this question ... when you’re lying in bed, full of grey hairs, hopefully many moons from now, do you really want to have any regrets?