It is illegal for your partner to do these 11 things in a relationship

By Claire Schofield
Thursday, 24th September 2020, 3:19 pm
Updated Thursday, 24th September 2020, 5:08 pm
The offence of coercive control now recognises psychological abuse within a relationship as illegal (Photo: Shutterstock)
The offence of coercive control now recognises psychological abuse within a relationship as illegal (Photo: Shutterstock)

Changes to the law in recent years have made psychological abuse within a relationship illegal.

The offence of coercive control now recognises that domestic abuse can take several forms and is not strictly limited to physical violence.

Changes to legislation

The changes outlaw a number of things that were not previously covered by existing legislation, meaning emotional abuse of a partner is now also illegal.

Most Popular

    Coercive control is the psychological abuse of a partner, which can be committed through threats and restrictions, as well as physical violence, and carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison.

    In Scotland, changes to the Domestic Abuse bill were passed by Parliament in 2018, making psychological abuse and coercive controlling behaviour within a relationship a criminal offence.

    The bill was amended to include behaviour that could not easily be prosecuted using the existing criminal law.

    The laws are also now enforced in England and Wales, with the amendments making the following 11 acts towards a partner illegal.

    1. Sharing sexually explicit images of you - either online or not

    New laws surrounding 'revenge porn' make it illegal for someone to share intimate photographs of you with anyone, whether that is on or offline.

    It is illegal for someone to share intimate photographs of you with anyone else (Photo: Shutterstock)

    2. Restricting your access to money

    Even if they are the breadwinner, the law says one partner cannot stop the other from accessing money and should not give them "punitive allowances".

    3. Repeatedly putting you down

    Constant insults from a partner might not be typically thought of as domestic abuse, but under the new law, persistent name-calling, mocking and other forms of insulting behaviour are now illegal.

    4. Stopping you from seeing friends or family

    If your partner continually isolates you from the people you love - whether this is in the form of monitoring or blocking your calls or emails, telling you where you can or cannot go, or preventing you from seeing your friends or relatives - it is against the law.

    Your partner isolating you from the people you love is against the law (Photo: Shutterstock)

    5. Scaring you

    Your partner might not physically assault you, but if they are doing enough to frighten you, they are committing an offence.

    Women's Aid says this can include, but is not limited to:

    6. Threatening to reveal private things about you

    Whether your partner is saying they will tell people details about your health or sexual orientation, repeated threats to reveal personal and private information is a form of abuse.

    7. Putting tracking devices on your phone

    The Crown Prosecution Service says it is illegal under the new legislation to "monitor a person using online communication tools or spyware".

    Monitoring a person using online communication tools or spyware is illegal under the new legislation (Photo: Shutterstock)

    If your partner is reading your Facebook messages without permission, or insisting they track your devices, it is against the law.

    8. Being extremely jealous

    If your partner persistently accuses you of cheating, simply for looking at another person, then this could constitute grounds for prosecution.

    Humberside Police say "extreme jealousy, including possessiveness and ridiculous accusations of cheating" all come under the new legislation.

    9. Forcing you to obey their rules

    A relationship should be a partnership, with neither partner having control over the other.

    If you are forced to abide by rules set by your partner, it could mean they are committing a crime.

    The Crown Prosecution Service says these include rules which "humiliate, degrade or dehumanise the victim", while Women's Aid says examples include your partner telling you that you have no choice in decisions.

    10. Controlling what you wear

    Your partner taking control over any part of your life is highlighted in the new legislation, including restricting who you see and where you go.

    Controlling what you wear or how you look could also now be grounds for prosecution under the changes.

    11. Making you do things you don't want to

    Your partner forcing you to commit crimes, neglecting or abusing your children, or forcing you not to reveal anything about your relationship to the authorities all count as abuse.

    Forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, look at pornographic material, or have sex with others also falls under this bracket.

    Tackling domestic abuse head-on

    "These new powers mean this behaviour, which is particularly relevant to cases of domestic abuse, can now be prosecuted in its own right," said Alison Saunders, director of public prosecutions at the Crown Prosecution Service.

    "Police and prosecutors are being trained to recognise patterns of abusive behaviour which can be regarded as criminal abuse.

    "We will do everything in our power to tackle this abhorrent crime."

    If you need help

    Domestic violence – support for women

    Refugehelpline: 0808 2000 247 (freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run with Women’s Aid)[email protected]

    Women's Aid (England)helpline: 0808 2000 247 (freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run with Refuge)[email protected]

    The National Domestic Violence Helpline only offers limited information by email as they don't have the resources to provide ongoing support or in-depth information in this way. When you email the Helpline specify when and if it is safe to respond and to which email address.

    Welsh Women's Aidhelpline: 0808 80 10

    Domestic violence – support for men

    Men's Advice Linehelpline: 0808 801 0327 (Mon to Fri: 9am to 5pm)[email protected] helpline for all men (in heterosexual or same-sex relationships) experiencing domestic violence by a current or ex-partner.

    Domestic violence – support for black and minority ethnic groups

    Ashiana Sheffieldhelpline: 0114 255 [email protected]

    Aims to help prevent murder and serious harm to black, Asian, minority ethnic and refugee women in England, Wales and Scotland as a result of domestic abuse and forced marriage and 'honour'-based violence. Also supports children and young people.

    Domestic violence – help for people who inflict violence

    RespectRespect phoneline: 0808 802 4040 (Mon to Fri: 9am to 5pm)[email protected]

    Runs support services and programmes for people who inflict violence in relationships, including young men and women. Also runs the men's advice line, as above.

    Domestic violence – support for young people

    Respect not

    Website for young people about domestic violence.

    The Hide

    Women's Aid website to help young people understand domestic abuse, and how to take positive action if it's happening to them.

    Domestic violence and forced marriage

    The Forced Marriage Unit020 7008 [email protected] initiative between the Foreign Office and Home Office. It assists actual and potential victims of forced marriage, as well as professionals working in the social, educational and health sectors.