‘It hits your identity’: How a Leeds dad turned his infertility heartbreak into a lifeline for other men
A father of two from Leeds, was diagnosed with male factor infertility after a routine semen analysis revealed low sperm count and viability, leading to a long and difficult journey for him and his wife
Male factor infertility contributes to around half of couples’ difficulties conceiving, according to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), with one in seven couples experiencing difficulties conceiving.
But many men describe feeling unprepared, isolated and unsure where to turn once they have been diagnosed with infertility.
For Ciaran, a father of two from Leeds, that experience began just months after his wedding.
Ciaran, 40, and his wife Jen had assumed that any difficulty conceiving would stem from Jen’s irregular cycles, which they learned was caused by polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome (PMOS).
But after a routine semen analysis, it was revealed that the problem lay with him.
“They turned to Jen and said, we can get you ovulating. And then they turned to me and said, ‘There’s not much we can do for you, Ciaran’,“ he recalled. “That’s how I found out about my infertility, very bluntly.”
“As a man, it hits you harder than probably anything ever could in terms of your identity,” he said. “I can smile about it now because I’m on the other side of the fence, but at the time it was incredibly difficult, emotionally and psychologically. I didn’t know what to do with it.”
The couple went on to have ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection) treatment provided by the NHS, a technique in which a single sperm is injected directly into an egg.
Over the following years, the couple experienced a failed fresh cycle, a miscarriage on Boxing Day and further unsuccessful treatment.
Ciaran kept much of what he felt to himself, partly to protect Jen, and eventually reached a point where he experienced suicidal thoughts.
The couple’s decision to step away from treatment, talk honestly, and seek counselling was a pivotal turning point.
During a long break, Ciaran and Jen followed a structured lifestyle programme for 18 months. His sperm count rose from 1,500 to 4 million, and the proportion of viable sperm rose from 1 per cent to over 4 per cent.
A final fresh cycle, in which two embryos were transferred, resulted in the birth of their son Seb, now 10.
“Ciaran’s story is a powerful reminder that a male factor diagnosis is far more than a clinical finding,” said Dr Victoria Sephton, chief medical officer at fertility treatment provider Care Fertility.
“Men in particular often feel they must stay strong for their partner, and that can mean they carry the emotional weight alone. Asking a man how he is, or encouraging him to open up to friends and family, can make all the difference.”
A few years later, the couple visited a fertility clinic in Sheffield, which ultimately led to the birth of their daughter Enya, now six.
Ciaran now supports other men through fertility struggles through his company Male Fertility PT, and co-hosts the Male Fertility Podcast together with Sean Greenaway.
“No guy should feel like me and Sean felt when we were going through it,” he said. “Wherever you are in the journey, you’re not alone.”
Dr Sephton added: “Peer support from people who have been through this experience themselves is invaluable.
“We encourage any man worried about his fertility to seek testing early, ask questions and speak to someone, whether that is a clinician, a counsellor or by joining a community like the one Ciaran has built.”