Gulf War veteran from Leeds tells of flashbacks during Covid lockdown
A chronically ill Gulf War veteran who has been shielding at home in Leeds during the Covid crisis has spoken of how isolation during lockdown has led to more flashbacks that leave him "shaking and almost in tears."
Darren Walker, 54, of Rodley, suffers from post traumatic stress disorder as a result of what he witnessed on the front line as a 24-year-old medic with the 14th/20th King's Hussars in the first Gulf War in 1990.
Darren, who also suffers from Gulf War Syndrome, has to cope with memory loss, slurred speech, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia, night terrors, and joint and nerve problems.
His nerve problems mean he has mobility issues, cannot walk long distances so has to use a wheelchair.
Darren, who served in the army for 12 years from the ages of 18 to 30, is shielding with his wife Rachel, 52, who suffers from lupus - a condition that affects the immune system.
"I have a problem relaying my time in the Gulf," said Darren."
"I was a frontline medic and witnessed and experienced horrific things.
"Sometimes I have flashbacks which fill me with a sense of dread and sometimes fear and leaves me shaking and almost in tears.
"Lockdown has exacerbated this as having more time alone and to reflect has brought more flashbacks.
"These are horrific, not something I would wish on anyone.
"These are not thoughts which you can just switch off, these are thoughts which haunt you.
"This affects not just myself but my family. I feel a sense of abandonment, I served a purpose protecting my country which was important to me.
"Now I cannot function anymore I am of no use. I feel alone, even though I have my family, it's hard for me to show any emotion to them and I distance myself.
"I feel like I don’t want them to be a part of the things that haunt me."
Darren was a musician in the army and is regularly called on to act as a bugler at local and national Remembrance Day services.
He played the Last Post at Elland Road ahead of Leeds United's 2020 Remembrance Day fixture.
Darren and Rachel volunteer with the Royal British Legion and help to count money collected after every year's poppy appeal.
Darren and Rachel make 'steampunk' models from old watch parts and sell them at craft shows and on Facebook page Fobs & Cogs to raise money to build a memorial for his former regiment at the National Arboretum in Staffordshire.
The couple have so far raised more than £14,500 towards a £20,000 target.
Rachel said: "I am so proud of Darren, to do what he does is so difficult.
"I am so pleased that people have been so giving and have been supporting us."
In normal times, Darren also plays trombone in two swing bands and volunteers his time teaching music at the Boys Brigade in Armley and at Pudsey Air Cadets.
"All of these things helped make me feel like I was still contributing to society," said Darren.
"However these have been put on hold and my sense of worth is greatly diminished.
"I desperately wanted to help the local community during lockdown, but as both my wife and I are extremely vulnerable I haven’t been able to."