Family heartbreak after sudden death of four-month-old baby boy

Little Prem Parmar was just four-months-old when he died unexpectedly in his sleep.

Doctors said that Prem had died from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), which is the unexplained death of an otherwise healthy baby.

His parents, Mitesh Parmar and Nisha Bharath-Parmar, now hope that sharing their grief will raise awareness about SIDS and encourage other families to feel comfortable talking about child loss.

Born on June 14 at St James’ Hospital, his parents describe Prem as a “cheeky, smiley and happy” baby.

As the couple’s first child, the couple struggled with the pressures of being new parents in the middle of a global pandemic, but luckily Prem was a calm and cheerful little boy.

Mum Nisha, 31, said: “He was so cheeky and really big for his age.

“The only time he cried was when he wanted to eat, burp or have his nappy changed.

“I was so, so scared for him when he had his injections - I was in tears - but he didn’t even cry once.

“He was such a good and strong baby.

“I remember the day that he passed away so clearly. I gave him a bath, and then we played in his little play gym.

“You would have never thought that happy baby boy would not be here now - that in just a few hours he would be gone.”

Dad Mitesh, also 31, added: “He had the cheekiest smile and these absolutely massive eyes. He was so cute.

“He did this little thing with his hands where he would put them together on his chest like he was posing.

“I’ve got so many pictures of him doing it because he looked like a little angel, hands together, palms touching.

“He was just so, so happy.

“Everyone said to me: ‘Whenever we see him, he's smiling and laughing’.

“That's all I remember him doing - just smiling.

“He had such a little personality and made me laugh all the time. We’d sit together and watch Leeds United play and he was mesmerised by the players running around the pitch.

“At half-time when the commentators came on he would cry and cry but once the match started again he would stop fidgeting and just be transfixed in the football. It was so funny.

“He’d just started cooing and talking back too. When we’d speak to him he'd start making noises in his beautiful little voice.

“I said to my wife ‘I can't wait for him to start speaking. I can't wait for him to run around and boss me about saying ‘Daddy, Daddy, do this, do that’.

Prem sadly died in his sleep on October 12.

Doctors have informed the parents that the cause of death is most likely SIDS, though the parents are still awaiting test results.

Mitesh says the lack of answers and support since Prem’s death has been hard for the couple to deal with.

He said: “After Prem died, our whole word collapsed. There was no support from the hospital and nobody followed up with us to explain what had happened.

“We couldn’t plan his funeral as the hospital couldn’t release our son’s body for three weeks because they had to do tests.

“Planning his funeral was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do and knowing that my innocent son was inside the hospital morgue alone for three weeks makes me feel sick. I have nightmares about it.

“We still don’t have answers from those tests about why he died.

“Every day we sit here confused and ask “what happened to our son?”

The family hopes that by sharing their story, they will not only raise awareness of SIDS but also allow more people to feel able to talk more openly about their experiences of child loss.

Nisha’s sister, Priya Bharath-Meads, 30, from Wetherby, said: “Prem was just four months old when he died. He was so young.

“He hadn’t even stepped on an ant - he had done nothing wrong yet in the world. Our family couldn’t have ever expected to lose him.

“SIDS is also a lot more common than people think. When my sister went to the morgue with Prem, there were five other children in there with him.

"That's five other families experiencing a similar grief but you don't hear about it.

“I think talking about SIDS or losing a child is seen as taboo, so people feel like they can’t talk about it and have to go through the pain on their own.

“By speaking out as a family, we’d like to raise awareness about SIDS and allow people to talk about loss and help people to process their grief.”

Nisha added: “I don’t want people to think they can’t talk about a child because they have died.

“I love talking about Prem. I want to keep his memories alive and I hope that by raising awareness I can help other families do that too.

“Right now, life is an absolute nightmare. We are not even living, we are just breathing. We are simply trying to get through each day.

“I hope that one day we do start living again but right now, we don't see how that is possible.

“I hope our story will help other families going through this pain.”

Jenny Ward, CEO of The Lullaby Trust said: “Our deepest sympathies go out to the family at this incredibly difficult time. The sudden death of a baby is something no parent or relative can prepare for. The important thing to know is that you are not alone.

“At The Lullaby Trust we offer a free listening service where the bereaved can speak with out of our support advisors who will listen non-judgmentally and help you through this period of change.

“For those who want to speak with someone who has gone through a similar experience, we offer a Befriender service where families can speak with parents, grandparents or siblings who have also lost a baby suddenly and unexpectedly.

The Lullaby Trust bereavement support line number is 0808 802 6868. www.www.lullabytrust.org.uk

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