OPINION: Stop judging women for what they wear - Sophie Mei Lan

I have grown up in a world where we feed children our own prejudices of what women should look and dress like.

At times I have tried to conform to whatever ‘norm’ is acceptable and at other points of my life I have well and truly rebelled.

Now people think I am rebellious, but actually I have got to a point in my life where I have and am judged more than ever about what I look like and what I wear because I am a woman with a voice, who makes her own choices and worst still, (thank you online world for making me fully aware of the underlying misogyny that remains rife), I now have the confidence to wear what I want to.

Most days I will be adorned in feel-good activewear while working from home, juggling kids and making sure I keep moving to boost my productivity, rather than just sit at a screen.

Sometimes I even put on a sparkly dress at home because it makes me feel good… as they say why keep waiting for a special occasion, being alive is enough of an occasion!

But because a lot of my work is media facing and online, I know I am open to criticism and trolling. While I am happy to be fairly challenged on my opinions - life would be boring living on my own inside my own echo chamber after all - what I no longer tolerate is critique over my clothes and especially not over my body. My body, my business.

These days, my personal mind and body transformation has actually become my business as most of my journalism work is writing or making documentaries about mental and physical wellbeing as well as my fun side hustle as a dance fitness coach online.

But men and women online tend to like to subject any women that puts herself ‘out there’ to criticism about their dress and their body shape.

I get more compliments than not inside my inbox but I regularly get comments on social media posts about how I should look a certain way or that I am subject to someone’s weird fantasies.

I have had it all - from being too skinny to too muscly an, in the past when I worked as a professional dancer, I was too curvy or too fat to be on stage.

If only people would reflect and focus on their own goals and life rather than project their unhappiness within themselves onto others. But what saddens me is women’s own open judgement onto other women.

I feel we are in a world of rising insecurity as we scroll through other people’s highlights reel online and scrutinise rather than champion others.

By judging one another, we are actually playing into the hands of age-old stereotypes of how a woman should present herself.

There is a real power in a sisterhood, a cheerleading crew.

I know that through my Squats and Sparkles - Women’s Health and Fitness Club and whenever I run my all-female dance classes where people transform from feeling out of control to feeling deeply connected within themselves, their bodies and their minds.

As you build your inner strength, you not only feel good but you look good because you radiate positivity.

You can read more from Sophie at mamamei.co.uk or join Squats and Sparkles on Facebook.