Caroline Verdon: If I was Princess Eugenie, I’d be furious

Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank  as they leave after their wedding at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor. Photo credit should read: Toby Melville/PA Wire
Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank as they leave after their wedding at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor. Photo credit should read: Toby Melville/PA Wire
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On Monday, news came from the official channels that Harry and Meghan are expecting a baby.

This is lovely news. Of course it is. I’m not that cold. However, if I were Eugenie I would be furious. You wait ages to have your wedding day, having postponed it because Harry and Meghan had to have their day first and then when yours finally comes around, you don’t even get to celebrate properly as everyone is too busy talking about the new royal baby.

Sure, they didn’t announce it at the wedding but if sources are to be believed, they announced it to close friends and family just before the wedding and the wedding was the first time they’d seen people face-to-face so it was when all of the congratulatory hugs took place. To me there isn’t really a difference, it still means they announced it at the wedding and that’s just not something you do. Surely it’s simple etiquette is it not?

On Eugenie’s wedding day whilst the papers carried photos of her with her new husband looking radiant, they also carried a lot of photos of Meghan in a suspicious looking coat. It was done up to her neck but only buttoned to the bottom of her ribcage and she didn’t once take it off which caused everyone to speculate that she was pregnant and the coat was hiding a blossoming bump. The following day when Harry and Meghan caught a flight to Australia she’s pictured holding things in front of her stomach – A4 ring binders, flowers anything she could lay her hands on. Cue more speculation.

Then, sure enough, the official word arrives that they are infact expecting. “We knew it” cried everyone because they had made it so obvious they were hiding her tummy. The very second the news came out though, what surprised me was that the coats were ditched, the tummy was flaunted but there wasn’t even a bump yet! Had they been purposely trying to get attention? There was nothing to hide at all and yet Meghan had been wandering around like a cross between Inspector Gadget and a load of women attempting to do a tasteful nude baking calendar.

I can just picture the scene at the wedding. Everyone making a beeline for Harry and turning to Eugenie with a half-hearted: “Oh you look wonderful Eugenie, isn’t it fantastic news about Harry and Meghan”. I don’t imagine Harry would have made the situation any better, in fact he would probably have dug the hole a little deeper. Harry: “Congratulations Eugenie, you look wonderful…it must be a relief not having all of the crowds gathered outside”. Meghan: “Oh yes it must, it was overwhelming at our wedding with the people lining the street 100 deep, all of those well-wishers and all of that waving. You’ll be grateful when you wake up tomorrow and don’t have arm ache” *cue polite laughter*

She’s clearly a much nicer person than me because if I were Eugenie I would be raging and concocting ways to accidentally get the gravy spilt down Meghan’s coat.

I went to a wedding once where the groom’s brother was his best man and during the best man’s speech, he got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend. She said yes. Everyone applauded.

Then (because he wasn’t quite done) the best man handed his parents a little present. It was a keyring that said “world’s best grandparents”. He only went and announced they were pregnant as well! His mum cried, said he’d made her the happiest she’d ever been, told everyone it was her dream to have grand-children and now it was coming true. I just sat there a bit wide eyed. He’d basically got his brother to pay for his engagement party and baby shower.

There are really only three rules when it comes to weddings – 1: You always say how beautiful the bride looks even if in reality you wonder if she’s been dragged through a hedge. 2: You always say you had a wonderful time even if really you were counting the seconds until you could leave and you ended up with food poisoning and 3: you never, ever, ever do anything that could take the limelight from the bride and groom.

Ant came up with the perfect revenge – Eugenie needs to get the Australian itinerary and make sure that at every venue Harry and Meghan are appearing at, strangers get down on one knee and propose with full on bands and choirs – that’d steal the headlines. Either that or get pregnant with twins.

Excited to see P!nk on tour

This week I finally won a £20 bet.

Nearly a year ago, P!nk announced she’d be coming to the UK on her tour and my excitement started building. After than initial announcement there’s been radio silence.

I’ve tried persuading the powers that be at the First Direct Arena to tell me if she was due to make an appearance but their lips were firmly sealed.

As time ticked on, Ant bet me that she wasn’t actually coming. I was insistent that she wasn’t the kind of woman to break a promise and this week I was proved right as she announced five nights in the UK.

Okay so it’s not exactly a six month extravaganza but I’ll take it!

You see P!nk is pretty much the only artist that my husband and I both agree on. He is a huge Levellers fan. I’m happy to join him at a gig but it would never be my idea of a great night out.

I love The Kings of Leon – he’d join me at a gig, although less happily and then would suggest we left early to beat the traffic. With P!nk though, we’re on the same page.

We saw her years ago at a festival and she was incredible. In the middle of a field, surrounded by mud, stinky toilets and more rain than was pleasant she flew out, dangling from wires and danced in the air above ten metres above our heads as she belted out her hits.

It was one of the best gigs we’d ever seen. You don’t even need to like her music to be wowed by it.

Tickets go on sale on general release on Tuesday. Wish me luck!

‘No, we don’t lick snakes’

On Tuesday, I had to say to my three-year-old: “No Arthur, we don’t lick snakes”.

His nursery is fantastic and had organised a creature morning. A company came in with big spiders and lizards and snakes and taught the kids about them – what they ate, where they lived, that kind of thing.

His nursery have this app that I can log into and everyday they upload little videos and photos of the things he’s been up to.

One video showed this reptile specialist holding a snake and telling the kids how to stroke it. “Using one finger, very gently run your finger down its back” she said. Never one to follow a direct instruction he quick as a flash stuck his tongue out and licked it.

On the upside I suppose I can now tick that box in his red book that asks if he is open to trying new foods.

Caroline Verdon is one half of the breakfast show at Radio Aire. You can hear Caroline and Ant between 6-10am every weekday morning.