'Losing a colleague to suicide changed me - the Baton of Hope is my tribute to him'
When tragedy struck Steve Taylor’s NHS team, it left a mark he’ll never forget.
The former care co-ordinator and occupational therapist at Leeds and Yorkshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust’s team worked closely with people struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
But in 2021, they faced the devastating reality of losing a colleague to suicide - someone he describes as “a rock”.
The experience left shockwaves of grief in a team already carrying the weight of others’ struggles and showed them, more than ever, that suicide can touch anyone, even those working hardest to prevent it.
Only in the aftermath did I realise the hole that somebody leaves when they take their own life, and how deeply it affects those around them
Now with the Baton of Hope arriving in Leeds on Wednesday to mark World Suicide Prevention Day, Steve is determined to honour the memory of his colleague.
He said: "Our team worked daily in a clinical setting with people struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts and a wide range of mental health conditions across Leeds. So losing a colleague in that way was something I never expected.
“I had a fantastic working relationship with him; we shared a lot of laughs at work, that’s how we got by. I remember the day vividly. None of us had any idea he was struggling. He was always early for meetings and smartly dressed, even on our Zoom calls during the pandemic. When he didn’t turn up for his shift, that’s when I knew something was wrong."
Steve recalls how his manager in the service broke the news to the team and said: "They dealt with it professionally while keeping the service running. When my boss had to tell us, it absolutely ripped her apart. But we had to pull together to cope whilst still doing the day job."
The team has since disbanded but Steve wants to raise awareness.
He said: “Before this happened, I thought I understood the impact of suicide. But I didn’t.
“Only in the aftermath did I realise the hole that somebody leaves when they take their own life, and how deeply it affects those around them. Many of the people I supported wanted to end their lives and often said no one would miss them if they did. My experience gave me a new perspective on that and I could use that in my work.
“I’ve been left confused about how this could happen to someone so compassionate and with such an understanding of people. It really highlights that this can happen to anyone, from any walk of life.
“Literally anybody can suffer with suicidal thoughts. My colleague worked daily to help others with their thoughts. That he wasn’t able to reach out and get the help he needed is something I’ll probably never come to terms with."
Over 1,000 members of staff at the Trust have been supported by the Critical Incident Staff Support Pathway (CrISSP), an intervention where trained facilitators support staff who have been involved in potentially traumatic or stressful events at work.
Judith Barnes, LYPFT’s people wellbeing lead, added: "People working in caring professions are often expected – and expect of themselves – to be self-reliant and cope in the face of emotionally challenging work. It is often assumed that they will be less susceptible to trauma. In reality, the opposite is often true.
“If left unaddressed, the impact of these challenges can have long-term effects on individuals, teams, and even the care provided. Coming together as a team to share experiences and support one another can be really helpful in moving forward."
For support visit: