Leeds health chief who lost brother to suicide urges people to look out for each other's mental health

A Leeds health chief has bravely opened up about losing his brother to suicide in a bid to raise awareness of men’s mental health and encourage people to look out for their friends and family.
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Jim Barwick, chief executive of Leeds GP Confederation, lost his 44-year-old brother Alistair in 2007 and said he remembers that day as if it was yesterday.

“I can vividly remember my dad calling me. I can picture it in my mind. My phone ringing and looking at my phone and seeing it was ‘dad’ and answering it. I was on the platform in Leeds - I had just got off the train from London. He told me. It was as if someone was trying to push you down onto the floor.”

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Jim Barwick, pictured at his home in Gildersome, Leeds. Picture: Simon HulmeJim Barwick, pictured at his home in Gildersome, Leeds. Picture: Simon Hulme
Jim Barwick, pictured at his home in Gildersome, Leeds. Picture: Simon Hulme
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Yet he decided to end his life on his 44th birthday and in one of the letters he left behind, he described how debilitating his depression was.

Jim, 53, said: “He described it as walking a tightrope over a deep gorge, just managing to get to the end, then only having to turn back and do it all over again.

“He just said he couldn’t do it again.

“With that explanation, you don’t think they are being selfish, you just feel sympathy. You do think ‘What could I have done’ - you just want to be protective of that person.”

Jim Barwick and his late brother Alistair, pictured together on Alistair's graduation.Jim Barwick and his late brother Alistair, pictured together on Alistair's graduation.
Jim Barwick and his late brother Alistair, pictured together on Alistair's graduation.

Jim, who lives in Gildersome, described the “torture” of repeatedly questioning what more he could have done to help Alistair.

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“I regret not seeing him that day - I could have saved his life. I still carry the tube ticket from that day with me as a reminder to do things that are important - see people, speak to them.”

It is a stark fact that of the 5,961 suicides registered in England and Wales in 2019, around three-quarters, 4,303, were among men.

Sadly Alistair’s partner, a man, also committed suicide just a few months later.

Jim said: “Suicide is the biggest killer of young men [aged under 50] - it doesn’t need to be. The impact of suicide affects many people in families.”

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He urged people to look out for those around them and help encourage conversation around mental health.

“Whenever you talk about it with anyone, it’s generally a really difficult thing for people to talk about but the important thing is that people do talk about it.”

Jim said: “You hear lots of stories about particularly men who take their life and people say ‘they had everything going for them’, like Gary Speed.

“You think ‘well no, you don’t know sometimes.’

“Which is why it’s important to remain open and available to talk if people need to talk.

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“Not just relatives but blokes who meet at football or go to the pub or things like that. In these groups there might be someone who might feel like that and might need that opening to speak to someone they know. It might be someone who might seem absolutely fine but deep down they might not be. You don’t have to go around questioning everyone, just to know that it’s a thing might change your behaviour with people.”

However Jim said it is concerning that the pandemic and its enforced isolation will make it harder for people to keep conversations going, as well as the inevitable toll it is taking on mental health itself.

He said: “It’s a worry. People might have additional stress in their lives because of the pandemic - jobs, family, security, which might affect how people are coping with their mental health. And then to compound that, not being able to see the normal people they speak to, would just make it worse.

“I think in general as a society we need to understand that people’s stresses that they are currently going through are just more magnified.”

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Dr Gwyn Elias, GP and clinical lead for Mental Health for NHS Leeds Clinical Commissioning Group, said: “Men can find it difficult to talk about how they’re feeling but keeping things bottled up will only make things worse.

“We need to have more conversations about our mental health and Movember is a great opportunity to do that. Check in with your friends, ask how they are and really listen to what they say. We can’t meet up as we might normally do, but we can still stay connected with family and friends and talk about how we’re feeling. By opening up the conversation around your mental health, you will feel more comfortable sharing your feelings and reaching out for help.

“During the pandemic, I’ve been supporting a lot of men with their mental health, particularly younger working age adults who have reported feeling lonely, worried about their jobs or anxious about becoming unwell. If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, are experiencing problems sleeping or low mood, please understand that you’re not alone and that help is available.

“In extreme circumstances, people may experience a mental health crisis. This often means you no longer feel able to cope or in control of your situation. You may feel great emotional distress or anxiety, can’t cope with day-to-day life or work or think about suicide or self-harm. If you or someone you know is in this position, please reach out for help. Mental health services across the city are open, as they have been throughout the pandemic, and though they may be delivered a little differently, they’re still there to support people who need help. Whatever you do, please don’t suffer in silence.”

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*For more information on where to access help visit: https://www.leedsccg.nhs.uk/health/reopening-safely/mental-health-support*For confidential support and advice, phone Samaritans Leeds on 116 123 (free) or 0113 245 6789 (local call charges apply.

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