Leeds woman says assisted dying bill would have 'made mum feel powerful' in final days of cancer battle
Jordan Findlay was still at school when she became a full-time carer for her mum, who was dying of terminal cancer.
At 18-years-old, she dropped out of education to focus on her mother’s care, determined to be with her until the end.
“In old photos, I’ve noticed that she was always looking at one of the kids,” said Jordan, now 28. “I think that just sums up exactly the kind of person that she was.”
Her mum, Anne Louise Findlay, died in June 2015 at the age of 57, having endured months of distress and confusion as her cancer spread to her sternum.
It was an experience that inspired Jordan to set up the Leeds branch of Dying in Dignity, a campaign group calling for assisted dying to be made legal in England and Wales.
The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill, introduced by Labour MP Kim Leadbeater, would allow those aged 18 and over with less than six months to live to legally end their lives, if approved by two doctors and an expert panel including a psychiatrist, senior lawyer, and social worker.
It will have its final reading in the Commons on Friday (June 20) - just a day after the tenth anniversary of Anne’s death.
Jordan, who grew up in Hackney but now lives in Kirkstall, explained how the law would have changed everything if it had existed when her mum was dying.
"I think mum would have felt a lot more powerful,” she said. “When you get a diagnosis like that and there’s nothing you can do about it, having control over when you go is actually quite a beautiful thing.
“It would have allowed us to come together as a family, rather than it being this strange waiting game where you’re sitting with someone who’s very ill and doesn’t want to be there.”
Anne, a supermarket worker, suffered an aggressive form of breast cancer, that led to her having a double mastectomy before the terminal diagnosis. Jordan recalled: “Things went downhill pretty quickly when the cancer spread.
“It meant that she couldn’t eat and we would have to feed her through a tube in her stomach. She couldn’t speak either, apart from writing down the odd word here and there. But, unfortunately, because of how strong the medication was, it wasn't the easiest to decipher.
“I think she really struggled - and she was ready to go a long time before she actually did. That’s why it’s been so important for us as a family to try and get this bill passed."
She continued: “When you’re a child, you’re not used to having to look after anybody. Seeing my mum in such a vulnerable state was really difficult. I was seeing her change into a person that I couldn’t really recognise anymore, and that was really, really tough.”
Jordan discovered Dignity in Dying after watching a debate on the news, but realised that - while there was a Yorkshire branch - there was not a dedicated group for people in Leeds, which she later set up.
She explained: “Even prior to my mum passing away, I’d always agreed with assisted dying. But because of my experience, it was more on my mind than ever. I wanted to do some volunteering to get the word out to MPs - so I got involved out of necessity, really.”
Recently, the assisted dying bill has faced some opposition in Parliament. Last week, MPs backed an amendment to block healthcare professionals from initiating discussions about assisted dying with under-18s.
Critics have expressed fears that it could risk pressuring vulnerable people into ending their lives, while others argued that improvements to palliative care should instead be the focus.
Responding, Jordan said: “I don’t think we should take decisions like these lightly - and I think it’s right that this bill has been scrutinised, pulled apart, and put back together again. That’s incredibly important.
“But when people argue that we should instead be improving palliative care, I don’t think they realise that the science isn’t always there. There’s only a certain level to which we are able to make someone feel comfortable at the end of their life - there are limits.
“Even with the amazing palliative care that my mum received, she still suffered. She was simply put on more and more medication to slowly slip away.
“But of course, it’s essential that we increase the quality of care in the UK as much as we can - and I think this bill has really got people talking in a way that I haven’t seen in my lifetime.”
She believes that changes made to the bill - including safeguards around coercion - are important, adding: “It is something we should focus on. But I know that doctors are already trained to assess people for that.
“It’s a very natural and human thing to worry about coercion, but looking at other countries where this is legal, we can’t see any evidence of it in practice.”
The national discussion around assisted dying has given Jordan chance to reflect on memories of her mum, who she described as “kind and giggly”, and someone who always put family first.
“She was a Hackney-born girl who just loved a cup of tea,” said Jordan. “The most important thing in her life was her children. She was just a really, really wonderful person.”
With the anniversary of her death so close to the date of the bill’s final reading, she said it feels as though the timing could not be more significant.
“It’s a very strange coincidence,” said Jordan. “On Saturday, we’ll either be celebrating, or we’ll be starting again. I’ve met so many people through Dignity in Dying who are terminally ill. If this bill passes, it means they will have a choice - and the power will be back in their hands.”