Clandestine recordings, fake raffles, fire emojis and Marcelo Bielsa's patience with Kiko Casilla at Leeds United - football is weird

Things that just would not happen in other walks of life are commonplace in the beautiful game.

Take Ouasim Bouy for example. The 26-year-old’s verified personal Instagram page describes him as a ‘professional football player of Leeds United FC’.

But he’s never played professional football for Leeds United.

He’s paid by Leeds but not to play, because he is not part of the club’s plans, a bit like a lorry driver picking up a wage from a haulage firm but never finding his name on a rota, instead practising his tight turns on private roads away from his employer’s premises.

It would take an even weirder set of circumstances than those already in place for Bouy to ever actually live up to his job title for the Whites.

Every week, across the globe, fully grown adults converse in normal tones, about normal things, on their way into football grounds, before losing their minds for 90 minutes and screaming themselves hoarse, often using language and gestures they wouldn’t dream of unleashing in any other setting.

All because, at some point in time, they or a family member decided that a particular sports organisation was the one they would follow, investing their time, emotion and finance.

People do weird things in football.

A few years ago the chairman of a Yorkshire club recorded a phone call with an outgoing player, in an attempt to gather evidence he had been tapped up by a rival club at the same level.

An employee of Chesterfield FC once invented a supporter, ‘James Higgins’ – just made him up out of thin air and crowned him the winner of a raffle, because so few had paid to enter for a chance to win a trip to a Hungarian pre-season camp that the venture was going to lose money. Odd behaviour. Confusing.

On social media the contrast between real-life behaviour and football behaviour is starker.

From seemingly normal, rational folk criticising a fellow human for injuring themselves through no fault of their own – see some of the discussion around unfortunately regular injury victim Tyler Roberts – to players themselves conversing in a unique emoji-filled language.

It’s difficult to imagine David from accounts seriously haranguing Mark from HR for being ‘made of biscuits’ after missing a few days of work after a nasty fall on his Saturday morning run.

Just as it would be somewhat odd for a customer sales representative to post a picture of themselves taking a complaint call, prompting colleagues to respond ‘my bro’ or ‘some talker’ or replying with a small digital icon of a flame.

That’s just what footballers do on Instagram because, well, football. It has its own culture and accepted behaviours.

You have to be involved in the game in some capacity, professionally or as a fan, to understand most of it and even then it can be a struggle.

Like when Bielsa says Leeds played better in defeat at Forest than they did in a draw at Brentford. You’d have to be in Bielsa’s head, or at least his inner circle, to understand that because many outside the camp saw Tuesday night as a marked improvement.

But he sees things we don’t: few could understand why Eddie Nketiah didn’t play more, until he did and Leeds’ build-up play wasn’t quite as good, like Bielsa told us it wouldn’t be.

He also doesn’t see things we do – Arsenal’s recall of Nketiah baffled him, but few didn’t see it coming a mile off.

And he too can be perplexed, as he admitted after Wigan beat Leeds and as he showed with his exasperation at his treatment by the media.

It’s as bizarre that you would mock a man for taking the time to patiently explain his thinking as it is that Bielsa would bother to take any notice.

The Argentine has also caused confusion for Leeds fans by being patient to a fault – Kiko Casilla’s fault.

The Spanish goalkeeper was backed to start again on Tuesday, despite recent errors, and the result was the most calamitous mistake of the entire campaign.

Don’t be too surprised, or confused, if Casilla starts again on Saturday, though.

All the evidence, as we see it, might tell us it’s wrong, but this is Bielsa and this is his football.

It doesn’t have to make sense if, ultimately, it gets Leeds promoted.

If it doesn’t, prepare for things to get really confusing.