Every child has a favourite parent. In our house, my daughter Ava-Lilly’s favourite parent is her dad.
Ever since she was born she’s been a Daddy’s girl. She is the apple of my hubby’s eye.
He is calm, patient and easygoing with her.
I am constantly running around working, doing housework, organising everything and keeping us all in shape.
Sometimes I feel like an army Major – I would have made a good one, I’m certain.
I would be lying if I said that some days I didn’t want to be the favourite, sometimes I want to be the one Ava-Lilly calls her ‘best friend’.
I’m the one who runs around the shops buying her new clothes in my old tracksuit bottoms and battered Converse. She ends up with a wardrobe fit for a princess whilst I look nothing like a yummy mummy.
I’m the one who spends hours on the internet trying to find her a gymnastics class . “I want to do handstands Mummy,” is what I get told.
When she tells me: “I don’t want you, I want Daddy” or “I don’t love you Mummy” I try and explain all of the things I do for her.
Of course at her age she doesn’t understand.
This week it all got to me a little. Ava-Lilly has a terrible cold and I wanted to be the one who she called and wanted a cuddle from – no such luck though.
I went into her bedroom to say goodnight and she turned to my husband and said: “I don’t want Mummy, I want you”.
My heart sank. “Ok, well I don’t want you so that’s fine. Goodnight Ava-Lilly,” I said. As I walked away she shouted for me and I instantly smiled. I was hoping that would happen.
My husband Chris said to me later that night: “You’re terrible Kelly, using reverse psychology on a three-year-old to get affection.”
Yes Chris, you’re right but you have no idea how it feels to be the odd one out in this family.
Of course I want my daughter to love me. I want to be the one she shouts for, cries for, and the one she won’t let go of.
In reality though this just isn’t the case.
My need to be needed by her went a step too far last weekend and it taught me lesson, shall we say.
We went out for dinner and during the meal Ava-Lilly kept saying “Daddy’s my best friend” and “I only love Daddy”, so I retaliated with: “That’s ok. Mummy’s leaving and going to live in a place called Australia and you won’t have to see me again”.
My husband looked horrified and said, “You can’t say things like that Kelly!”
I thought nothing of it until we got home and Ava-Lilly had been in bed for about an hour. I was watching Strictly Come Dancing when I heard: “Mummy!!!! Mummy!”
There she was standing at the top of the stairs crying her eyes out.
When I picked her up she said: “Please don’t leave, don’t go to Australia.”
Well I could have punched myself in the face - why did I have to say that to her?
What’s wrong with me?
After getting her settled the same thing happened another two times before I put her into my bed for the night.
My husband was of course gloating at all of this but I was feeling like the world’s worst mum.
The next day it was like my beautiful girl had completely forgotten the whole episode.
As we lay in bed on Sunday morning she said: “Daddy’s my best friend and I love him.”
I replied with a smile: “That’s nice darling, Daddy’s my best friend too”.
No prince for my daughter
You can’t fail to have seen all the stories about Prince Harry’s latest squeeze – the actress Meghan Markle – plastered over the Internet.
Harry is said to be furious at the abuse and harassment of his new lady; so much so that a statement was issued on his behalf asking the media to stop.
Meghan’s mother says she can’t leave her house without being harassed by reporters.
Well I say NO THANKS...there’s no way in the world I would want my daughter dating a prince, I just couldn’t bear her to endure that kind of scrutiny.
I would go crazy if I had reporters and photographers camping out on my front lawn – no thank you.
I’d much rather she came home and told me she was in love with a builder or a vet - at least then I would have a handyman to put right my hubby’s terribly DIY disasters or a man who could help me with the farm I’ve always wanted!
Double standards in race for US
I will always remember where I was on November 7, 2016 when the news broke that Donald Trump was to be the new President of the United States.
It was about 5pm when I heard Hillary Clinton’s speech. I had never been so moved, tears rolled down my eyes as she said: “To all the little girls watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful, and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams”.
Tears were soon replaced by rage however as the political news anchor (male) came off the back of her speech with: “She could have shed a tear. In fact that’s what has been the problem with her during this whole campaign – not enough emotion”. I was furious! Would the anchor have said the same if it was a man? The world’s media wouldn’t expect a man to cry but because it’s a woman and she lost, she should cry in front of the whole world, should she?
If Clinton had shown emotion and tears throughout her campaign she would have been called ‘too emotional’ and ‘weak’. She was strong, tough and steely - all the qualities one would expect from a presidential candidate.
I genuinely feel that because Clinton is female there has been a much higher level of vindication from the media and they should be ashamed. Wednesday may have been a sad day for America, but it was also a sad day for millions of women in the world, myself included.