They say a person has only falls in love with three people during their lifetime.
The first love is our childhood sweetheart, most likely met during school. It’s the idealistic love that we read about in fairytales.
The second is the hard love, the love that teaches us lessons. It’s often the kind of love involving lies, manipulation and pain, resulting in a broken heart.
The third is the love we don’t see coming, it’s usually looks wrong as it’s different to anyone or anything we expected.
So if the three love rule is true then I am on my third and final (hopefully, although some days I could throttle him!).
I’m happy to admit I often think about my previous two loves though and I will never forget either of them. My childhood sweetheart was a boy called Liam who I went to nursery, primary school and secondary school with.
All the girls loved him, he was smart, funny, sporty and a dead ringer for the footballer Ryan Giggs. The second love of my life was Nigel or the ‘butcher’ as I fondly refer to him.
This was the hard love, the one that nearly wrecked me, the one that I tried over and over again to make-work but never could. It was a passionate love, a ‘can’t live with, can’t live without situation’.
I ran back to him so many times during those four years, thinking each time it would be different but it never was.
There were elements of mental abuse, control, and manipulation in the relationship that served as grave warning signs – but I chose to endure that and ignore. There were happy times too, lots of dancing, laughing and he would send me beautiful bouquets of flowers every week. He swept me off my feet and it was the first time in my life I truly understood what addiction felt like.
Of course my heart broke when I made the decision to finally flee and never return to him. Something clicked; finally I loved my sanity and health more than him. I often think of him though – I know exactly where he is, working in the same shop, living in the same town but now married and hopefully happy.
The third and final love of mine is my husband Chris who I met a year or so after my split with Nigel.
He wasn’t my type at all. He had interviewed me for a job in radio and not given me it. Then months later turned up at the radio station I was working at as my new boss!
I remember our first date; the girls I shared a flat with had to push me out the door. “He wears skinny jeans and baseball boots, it’s not me” I screamed at them. They knew I liked a tall, dark, well-built bad boy so their reply made a lot of sense: “It’s about time you dated someone who isn’t your usual type - you have bad taste Kelly!”.
So a new journey of love began, something completely different to what I had ever experienced.
He was highly intelligent, and a bit of a geek. He liked weird films and super heroes but on the plus side he was kind and old fashioned (a bit of a deal breaker for me) and well travelled.
I realised how this relationship was different to anything I’d known before when he took me to New York. I was petrified, I’d only flown once in my whole life and I’d never been to America. New York became ‘our city’ though and a few years later would be the place where Chris proposed. So the type of guy I never thought I would end up with became my husband and the father of my beautiful daughter. It’s funny how things turn out isn’t it?
How often do you think about a past love? Even when in the most happy relationships I believe a person never forgets someone who stole his or her heart. We all have to have memories good and bad.
I’m sure the three love rule doesn’t apply to everyone. There are some people who believe we only ever have one great love and some who believe we have several.I like to think the most important factor is to have loved and to have felt loved at least once in our lifetime. We can talk about it and imagine it all we like but really love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
I’ll never live down my epic fail
Every Friday on Radio Aire’s Breakfast show we do a segment called Epic Fail Friday.
We tell everyone our biggest fail of the week and then our lovely listeners come on the phones and confess theirs.
My co-host Ant left £30 at a self-service checkout one week…epic fail.
We’ve had some great stories from our listeners too. My favourite epic fail is from one of our listeners – Aaron.
He took his girlfriend to Blackpool on a freezing day and didn’t take a coat.
After an unsuccessful search for a woolly scarf and hat at the Pleasure Beach Aaron ended up buying a kiss me quick hat to try and keep his head warm. Bless him, an epic fail and a fashion disaster.
This week the epic fail belongs to me and it’s one I don’t think I will ever live down. I was looking at a video on face book entitled ‘The Steamy Elevator scene’ from new film Fifty Shades Darker.
I’d been thinking about ideas of what we could do about the movie on the breakfast show so sent it on private messenger to my co-hosts Ant and Michael.
Imagine my surprise a few minutes later when a private message on my Facebook page popped up from my boss simply saying ‘weird’.
Yes you guessed it I sent the video to my boss NOT to Ant and Michael!
I was mortified and swiftly wrote a reply explaining the video wasn’t for him at all and I’d made a mistake.
Now that really is an epic fail.
Details should remain private
So there’s going to be a documentary about what really happened between Brad and Angelina.
There’s been much talk about what happened in their marriage and who is to blame.
Every headline I’ve read appears to blame Angelina whilst Brad seems to have come out of this relatively unscathed and looking younger and fresher than ever.
It’s their children I feel sorry for. It’s never going to be easy growing up in a household where both parents are movie stars.
It must be awful for them reading intimate details on their mum and dad - who said what, who’s to blame.
As much as we all love a bit of juicy gossip perhaps a documentary on Brangelina’s marriage is a step too far. Some details should remain private because it’s simply that - private and none of anyone’s business.