Kelly Pegg: Keeping the spark alive after years with the same person

You’ve got to have a spark when you first start to date someone, if they kiss you and you feel nothing then you need to move on and quickly.

Everyone knows after time things change and if you make it with someone and decide they’re “the one” then there will definitely be times when there’s more fizzle than sizzle.

Chris and I have been together for nearly 10 years and married for five and right from the start there was a strong spark and it wasn’t just physical.

He made me laugh, he was intelligent and not like any of the other guys I’d been out with.

In those early days everything is perfection and to an extent not real I guess. Oh how it changes after you move into together, tie the knot and have kids. It’s not that you stop caring; it’s more like you just don’t have the time.

We try not to see each other on the toilet but it happens especially when your four-year old bursts into the bathroom anytime she feels like it. I’ve complained too many times about picking up his dirty pants off the bedroom floor, I’ve accepted it will never change.

When you’re man and wife if it isn’t toilet talk, it’s talk about budgets – every woman’s worst nightmare, or deciding what to put on the list for the food shop.

Even when we try to cuddle on the sofa we are interrupted, if it isn’t our daughter telling me to get off daddy, it’s the dogs jumping in the middle of us.

I still question couples that have been together forever and can’t wait to tell everyone that their love life has never taken a dive and everything has always been perfect.

I think they’re lying and it’s much more refreshing to hear people speak honestly about the ups and downs of loving someone long term.

The singer Pink recently admitted that she has gone a year without having relations with her husband, most women especially those who’ve had kids will be able to relate to this, myself included,

I know of couples that sleep in separate beds either because of the kids’ sleeping patterns or because the kids are growing up and they want their own space at night. The very romantic part of me feels sad at the prospect of this; I must admit I still love the fact that Chris is next to me at night.

When our daughter wasn’t sleeping and Chris would be in her room trying to settle her I found it hard.

I like lying there listening to him snore, well most of the time and I’m so used to him scratching me with his truly awful toenails, that I feel lonely when it’s just me in the bed. I think what happens over time in a relationship is that the spark changes, you become best friends and naturally things do become less sexy and exciting. It’s about still fulfilling each other though and being happy together and just because it changes a bit doesn’t mean it’s any less important or special. I know my spark with Chris is still very much alive though even if we aren’t ripping each other’s clothes off every five minutes like we used to. He calls me at least three times a day to see how I am and to tell me he loves me. When he wears his Hugo Boss suit I go weak at the knees.

I get jealous if I think another woman is even remotely flirting with him and I still get excited when he walks through the door at 6pm. He’s my best friend and my soul mate and as for kisses well that sizzle is very much still alive, providing he’s bothered to brush his teeth that morning!

Hitting 30 week milestone

So I’m officially 30 weeks pregnant with baby number two now and it feels so good to finally reach this milestone.

My whole family agrees this has felt like the longest pregnancy ever! I’m finally on the home straight with around 9 weeks to go until my C-section.

The bigger I get the healthier I feel for the most part, although I’m still having the odd rough day. Tuesday this week was not a great day, I felt sick and just exhausted so I rested, which I’m not good at. When I have a bad day I also feel incredibly depressed, I’m guessing it’s hormonal and all connected but I never experienced it when carrying my daughter.

I also hate sitting around especially when I’ve got so much to do but sometimes you have to listen to your body and just stop. Our house – the Edwardian – as I call it, is like a building site with builders, plasterers, and workmen everywhere. I have the Hoover constantly glued to my hand as I can’t stand mess but I think I need to relax a little and not get so OCD about it all.

Baby Two is lovely and active, I’m feeling lost of movements, feet in one side of my ribs and arms in the other.

I’m just so ready to meet him and hold him; we all are in our household!

Clothes wise I’m nearly there with all the bits I need for him and his nursery is nearly done, we’ve gone with a black and white theme that I love.

We just can’t wait for his arrival; this Christmas is going to be a special one.

More names speaking out

The scandal from Hollywood continues with more famous names speaking out against the movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.

I recently read an article claiming the victims have achieved nothing by speaking years later instead of at the time. I think this is nonsense, some of these women have been through terrible ordeals and I think what’s clear is they never felt they could speak out. Some actresses who did tell people weren’t believed so what were they supposed to do?

The hash tag Me-too has been trending on Twitter after being started by the actress Alyssa Milan. It aims to get other women who’ve been sexually assaulted or harassed to speak out but the idea has come under some criticism. There is the concern that it’s trivialising what the real victims have been through, is social media really the right way to tell everyone you’ve been sexually assaulted? However if it helps encourage victims to come forward then this can only be seen as a positive outcome.

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