We love labels don’t we? We just can’t wait to pass judgment and label a group of people or one person.
It’s like a good old fashioned sweeping statement fixes everything and that’s just what happened recently when a woman on a forum posted all working mums are really just part time mums. Obviously mums everywhere were in uproar about this, myself included.
These forums can be nasty places where some people go just to seep out negativity and unpleasantness and this was one of those occasions.
The very fact that women have to be labelled once they become a mother is not okay.
Every mum out there does the best the job they can and will regularly beat themselves up thinking they’ve got it wrong no matter what they do. In fact honestly speaking this often happens before the baby is even born!
TV Presenter Denise Van Outen recently spoke about her choice to have a C-section with her first child and how she feels judged by other mothers when they find out.
I have always felt judged because I didn’t successfully breastfeed my daughter after she was born and I can’t tell you how many people have already asked me if I’m going to try and feed baby number two myself.
A friend told me I should tell them it’s none of their business and really it isn’t but I just end up feeling flustered and terribly uncomfortable about it.
Why do women judge other women and try and put them into certain boxes? Is it just to create this superior feeling that they are doing it better?
Society is so quick to forget that some women have no choice but to work after their baby comes along.
Let’s face it the Government doesn’t go out of it’s way to support mothers and over time ones who’ve wanted to stay at home with their children have been stigmatised for doing so.
My best friend is a stay at home mum and because of her husband’s business financially she can do so.
However I have a friend who runs her own business and had to go straight back to work after each of her babies were born.
There’s no right answer, mums do what they have to do to look after their family and support them.
Sometimes women myself included want to still work even if it’s just one day a week, it’s good to socialise and still have that part of you that’s seen as more than just a mum. As a mum who worked full time for two years from the time my daughter was two years old until recently, I never felt like a part time mum. Yes my daughter went to nursery, she loved it and even if I had been at home she would have gone because she would have been totally bored. I believe going to nursery is a positive step for toddlers and helps them develop so many skills that they would struggle with if they stayed at home every day. I presented two-weekend radio shows when Ava-Lilly was a baby and did the odd bit of cover. I loved being with her when she was tiny but I had always wanted to present full time on a breakfast show so when that opportunity came I knew I had to take it.
I have struggled with balancing everything over the last year and I that was paramount in my decision to stop working full time and spend more time with my family.
Of course being pregnant with baby number two also played a big part in that decision.
I’ve now gone back to presenting radio shows at just weekends but I feel the same when it comes to being a mum as I did when I worked full time. Being a parent is hard work, it’s none stop, you hardly ever feel appreciated but it’s the best job in the world. As I write this my four-year-old is climbing all over all me, doing handstands on the sofa and conveniently landing her legs in my face. As she does that my bump is kicking me from left to right!
Mums multi task like no other whether that’s working full time or working at home. We need to stop judging and start supporting, we are all different and we make decisions based on what’s best for our family’s happiness. That doesn’t deserve or need a label, it’s about love and it’s called being a parent.
What is it with men and DIY?
If you are currently doing up your home then you have my deepest sympathy.
We too are renovating and boy it’s hard work, the mess, builders in and out of your home and of course the cost.
One of the things that I didn’t account for was my hubby getting involved too.
Oh yes he loves a bit of DIY. “I’m very good at taking things apart, just not so good at putting them back together”.
As well as fancying himself as Bob the builder he’s also become addicted to eBay. He’s trying to sell everything from light fittings, and fire places to toilets, yes you read that correctly – toilets.
I totally despair especially as one of the loos that in question has been ripped out and is currently positioned in my front drive for everyone to see.
It’s failed to sell twice on eBay and I would like him to put it into the skip but Chris is so determined to sell it I fear he’s attempting eBay for a third time.
He’s convinced second hand toilets do sell on eBay but this one isn’t even in perfect condition, it has a cracked seat.
I’m worried if I don’t take drastic action this loo is going to become a permanent feature in my front garden!
Emmerdale star joins Kelly
Emmerdale’s lovely Mike Parr, who plays Ross Barton in the soap, is back in the studio with me this Saturday.
It’s always really nice working with Mike, he’s such a kind, down to earth guy and everyone likes having him in the studio. He presented the show last Saturday with me too and we were talking weddings. It’s that season isn’t it when everyone is getting married and he revealed he has a wedding to attend practically every weekend at the moment.
One of the great things about my job is I get to meet all sorts of interesting people and sometimes if I’m really lucky I get to work with them. Tune into us on Radio Aire and across the north of England on Saturday morning from 9am.