Kelly Pegg: Is it possible for an open relationship to really work?

I'm an old fashioned girl who grew up dreaming about finding 'the one.'

Wednesday, 15th March 2017, 2:32 pm
Updated Friday, 24th March 2017, 9:40 am

I watched my nana Jean and my granddad share a strong, loving marriage. “He was the only man for me and that’s that,” she told me after he died.

True to her word there has never been another. My grandparents raised me, so thankfully it was only from a distance that I watched my parents endure an unhappy marriage.

Alcohol was at the root of all their issues and had terrible consequences for my mum. Before you knew it she was a shell of the woman she had once been.

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There was no doubt though that my father was the love of her life even though he made her terribly unhappy. It was a love she just couldn’t shake and when they finally divorced she never overcame it.

So growing up I had witnessed two very different types of love – genuine and true love from my grandparents and controlling, unhealthy, dangerous love from my actual parents.

I preferred to use my grandparents example of love as the model I would aim for in life. My granddad Geoff was a wonderful man and I wanted to find a man just like him – a gentleman and a family guy who would love me forever.

My husband Chris often reminds me of him and I know if he were here he would approve.

When I married Chris I meant every word of my vows and I had many a conversation with myself about how I would always work hard to keep my marriage happy.

Like all marriages we have had tough times and there have been occasions when I’ve thought, “What have I done?” When I look at him though I know that’s it, he is the one and I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to be with another.

I happen to believe that monogamy is a wonderful thing – to love one person and to spend your life with them is very special.

I’m also insanely jealous, so I hate it if I think another woman fancies Chris! This trait of mine is a reminder of just how much I love him and only him.

So I’m an old fashioned romantic with old school values and many would say I’m completely naïve and should have been born centuries ago and they would be right!

My naivety was tested recently on our breakfast show when we received a letter from someone in an open relationship.

Every Thursday we do a feature called Make-Up or Break-Up. A listener gets in touch about a relationship dilemma and we try and help. A lady had sent us an email stating that she was no longer comfortable in the open relationship she was in.

I of course was shocked. “Open relationship!” I cried at my co-host Ant, “is that really a thing?”.

I couldn’t imagine it, sharing someone with other people.

Ant is much more with the modern world than I so wasn’t shocked at all. The phone lines lit up and before you knew it we were chatting to a guy who was trying to sell the idea of an open relationship to me.

He said him and his partner both wanted their cake and to eat it so it was a win situation. I was horrified; how an earth could they not get jealous? What about trust? What if one fell in love with someone else?

The whole idea of true love to me is having that one person who you share everything with, just them, no-one else.

I couldn’t share and I wouldn’t want to it’s a simple as that. I also just don’t believe that type of relationship works.

There is something incredibly detached, emotionless and lonely about having several partners at the same time but not having that one deep connection with one special person.

Monogamy is something we should celebrate and embrace more than we do. Each to their own when it comes to relationships but I’ll stick to just one man thanks very much. He may not know where the washing basket is and he’s rubbish at cleaning but he’s mine and I love him and only him.

Supporting a healthy lifestyle

A big round of applause to whoever came up with the idea to place a 400 metre junk food ‘exclusion zone’ around Leeds schools.

Whenever the subject of growing obesity in young people is discussed it seems like it’s always the parents who get the blame and I think it’s really unfair. The price of healthy foods such as avocados is extortionate and to expect parents to be able to monitor everything their children eat – especially teenagers – is absurd. It’s about time the government and schools did more to help educate young people on what foods and drinks are good for you as well as making it more affordable for families. Radio Aire is based on Burley Road and there is nothing but takeaways, I called it ‘kebab central’ and with schools, nurseries and businesses close by it’s just not good enough.

These food outlets make a living from feeding people unhealthy foods and we don’t want to turn into America where fast food is a national staple. We need to protect our children and support families in adopting a healthy lifestyle and diet.

Listeners make my job a joy

Twice a week on the show we do a feature called Hot Mess Mums.

It starts with me telling a story about a mum fail or two from the week and then we have a listener on to confess theirs.

It’s a club where we do not judge; just rejoice in the fact that we are all in the same boat – coping with motherhood in no easy feat.

Louise’s Hot Mess Mums story was one of the best ones yet. Her cat ate the hamster but not until Louise admitted defeat after wrestling with the cat!

She then had to lie to her daughter that the pet hamster had just vanished and to this day she doesn’t know what really happened. On Friday I took ten of my Hot Mess Mums out for a two-course meal with fizz at the gorgeous Weetwood Hall and it was fantastic.

The people who call our show and get involved make my job a joy every day so it’s a privilege to get to spend time getting to know them properly.

They give up their time to tell us hilarious stories on the radio and they make our show. They are all a fantastic bunch of women – there’s something very special about Yorkshire lasses, they are funny, strong and down to earth.

It was the best way to spend an afternoon and I’m looking forward to the next gathering. If you would like to take part you can call the show or get in touch with us via our Facebook page Aire breakfast Kelly, Ant and Michael.