Ouch. After all the manufactured nonsense that is Valentine’s Day, time for a whacking thump of reality.
Ask a woman if her man has faults and there will be a pause while she allows the stupidity of the question to wash over her.
Then words will emerge, halting at first, released cautiously into the world - but building up fast to a great, roaring torrent, a Niagara Falls of words, even. Words that are river deep, mountain high.
But we know that. That’s how it has always been.
What’s interesting is how the words change, how the faults are ranked as the world turns.
Once, featuring high up the rankings would have been: the demon drink; not tipping over his wage, and always doing something associated with a football.
Now we don’t have to care so much about all that. Those are old grievances, not playing a major part in most relationships.
What does bug us, according to the latest research, is our partner’s refusal to admit that they are wrong.
Ha! That got you didn’t it? My guess is there isn’t a woman out there who can read a sentence about stubborn men without agreeing with all her heart and soul.
Because they are, aren’t they? Men are stubborn, stubborn creatures who would rather go to their death than say sorry.
The study, on behalf of Costa Bingo, reveals that more than half of the women questioned say their man’s refusal to ever admit they are wrong is driving them nuts.
There is more than that of course: a man’s habit of hogging the TV remote control is the second most annoying habit; plus, his inability to multi-task.
You know how that one goes, I’m sure. Does this sound at all familiar? “You’ve asked me to do two things now. Which do you want me to do? Do you want me to stop doing this and do that?”
No, no, no, no. The answer is we want you to do BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME AND STOP MOANING ABOUT IT.
But that never happens because, for that to happen, a man would actually have to be a woman.
Also on this latest list are gripes about bodily functions. We women get upset by snoring, by episodes of flatulence. Men should know that by now.
Also, we don’t like being ignored when we speak, it makes us feel like ghosts in our own lives, we don’t like that blokes fail to shoulder their fair share of the housework, we don’t like that they stare at other women and make us feel like lesser beings, and we don’t like that they watch so much sport - although that one is at the bottom of the 2014 list of gripes, so it doesn’t bother us that much.
But really, more than anything else in the whole world, we just want you chaps to be able to admit when you are wrong.
Because we know that you will do anything, anything; that you will lie and cheat and sulk and rage and huff and puff and deny all knowledge - to get out of saying sorry.
We know that sometimes you will demonstrate that you are sorry - a cup of unsolicited tea will come our way - but still, you would rather have your tongue pulled out than say it.
You can’t all be bullish, stubborn Taureans, but you can all be pig-headed.
It must be something to do with your wiring. Just as you can’t ask for directions, you can’t admit to error.
The way to make a man withstand any pain, any torture would be to ask him to apologise. Suddenly he is a warrior who will be ripped to pieces rather than show what he considers to be the ultimate weakness.
I can’t understand it. Doesn’t make any sense to me. And if this article has offended anyone ...I’m sorry.