Caroline Verdon: There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting

At the time, we were living hours away from family and whilst we had lots of friends, we didn’t have any who were pregnant or recent parents so we felt a little alone on our journey and were aware that we would need a support network – although maybe not quite so aware of how incredibly important that network would become to us.

We were lucky to meet four other couples on our course, each very different with different backgrounds and outlooks on life but all of them were not only solid and reliable but fun too. In the early days when my husband went back to work and I suddenly had a baby relying on me alone to keep it alive for 8 hours a day I really struggled. From the start, I had issues with breastfeeding. I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t happen for us. I tried up to ten times a day for four months solid and saw every lactation consultant going but it just never worked and eventually a specialist sat me down and told me to take the pressure off and stop trying. I’d been expressing and that worked for baby and me and he was healthy and happy but hearing those words was difficult. On the one hand it was a relief not to have to feel shame and guilt multiple each time it didn’t work but on the other hand it confirmed to me that I was a failure. I’d gone into parenthood wanting to give breast feeding a go and I had an open mind, I felt very much that fed was best but I’d got whipped up into a frenzy where breastfeeding became the be all and end all and the constant lack of success made me feel like a terrible mother. My husband was incredibly supportive but I still felt I would be judged and it took my wonderful NCT ladies to make me realise that the only person judging me was actually myself and that Arthur was thriving. When I admitted that I was struggling to bond with him they took me along to a baby massage class which worked wonders and week by week I would feel a noticeable difference. It took these women to listen to my struggles without any judgement and for them to share their own to make me realise that actually, whilst some people do adore and sail through every moment of parenting, it was actually more common and completely normal to find things difficult and that was OK and nothing to be ashamed of.

We’re nearly three years down the line now and our babies have become toddlers and are scarily close to becoming little boys and girls. Despite moving three hours away from my NCT tribe, we still meet up as a complete group twice a year. Last weekend was our summer get together where ten adults and six under 3s squeezed into our house. We went on trains, had an early birthday party and got to have a Dads’ night and a Mums’ night out! In the last few years we’ve seen that sometimes our parenting styles are similar and sometimes they are different. Turns out there are lots of ways to set boundaries, to deal with bedtimes, to spend time with kids and so long as the bottom line is that the children are happy and healthy then that’s a good job done. Our families are different, our workloads are different and our children are different – so why on earth would one thing work for us all?

Parenting is tough and it’s been invaluable to have people in my life experiencing the same journey at the same time to talk things through with. There are so many ways to find your own tribe from joining classes and getting out of the house to staying in and using facebook if that’s easier - my favourite Facebook group is The Motherload as it’s non-judgemental in its constant support and also very funny. Whether you are a parent-to-be, a new parent or an old timer, you’re not alone and getting out there and realising that can make the world of difference. I know that without my ladies my journey wouldn’t have been anywhere near as fun.

* In the print version of this article the words ‘I felt very much that breastfed was best’ should have read ‘I felt very much that fed was best’. We apologise for this error.

A playful night out in Leeds...

Shooters in Leeds is turning itself into a giant ball pool and I couldn’t be more excited.

From July 17 it will be rammed full of over half-a-million balls creating a giant 80 metres squared ball pit of diving brilliance - I can’t wait.

I love the idea of kicking my shoes off and sitting in the pit with a pint. More’s the point - I hope this catches on in other bars - imagine the pub crawl you could have...

You’d start off at Shooters and have a swim in the ball pool, then a Noddy train would pick you up outside and drive you to the Tap House where the whole place would be covered in squidgy foam with slides and roundabouts, like you’d see at a soft play centre. A drink and a bit of running and climbing in there before climbing back on the train and heading to Browns for some dinner. At Browns they’d have removed all the chairs and replaced them with those £1 rides you get outside supermarkets, so you would essentially have your dinner whilst sat next to a plastic Igglepiggle on a pretend boat. If Igglepiggle isn’t for you, you could simply move up a seat and opt for sitting in Marshall from Paw Patrol’s fire engine. Once you’ve finished dinner you would hop back on the train which slowly rocks you to sleep before a large but kind and gentle person lifts you out and tucks you up in your own bed before kissing your forehead and making an exit.

Admit it - it’d be a great night out!

Anyone for hot dog water?

This week a performance artist has reached hero status in my eyes...

To highlight the seemingly under-monitored health industry which fills us with a new fad each week that promises to make us younger, slimmer and more muscular, whilst also making our hair shinier and our skin softer, he’s release a new product - hot dog water!

It’s the gross concept of quite literally water from the saucepan that frankfurter-type-sausages come in and it’s disgusting. He’s put up some made-up signs, with made-up testimonials and claims that it will make you slimmer. He has set up shop at a festival in Canada and people are actually buying it and I mean that literally! He’s selling each bottle for around £30 each and people are actually handing over their cash.

When you think about it, it’s sad that we are that desperately unhappy with ourselves that we’d resort to that.

What will it take for us all to realise that we’re pretty darn good the way we are?

Caroline Verdon is one half of the breakfast show at Radio Aire. You can hear Caroline and Ant between 6-10am every weekday morning.