He said, she said. Blah blah blah.
What's all the fuss about WikiLeaks, the website which exists to publish leaked information?
At the end of the day, WikiLeaks is just the political equivalent of OK! magazine. It's just gossip and tittle-tattle, the only difference being instead of Jordan and Peter Andr sniping at each other, it's world leaders and nation states.
Opinion is divided over whether WikiLeaks is the champion of values of fairness and openness and force of good in the world or whether it is an invidious, treasonous gossip-monger.
Can it be both?
As far as I can tell, so far, it hasn't 'leaked' anything we didn't already either know, or strongly suspect.
Much of the 'revelations' seem to be in the name-calling class – the adult equivalent of playground banter.
So-and-so said such-and-such has a big nose – ooh, wait till he hears!
We all know Tony Blair had a thing for George Bush, we all know the US considers itself – rightly or not – the best thing since pre-packed breakfast pancakes and looks down its nose at everyone else, including us Brits and the so-called 'special relationship'.
We all know there are people who think Saudi Arabia funds international terrorism and that a lot of the countries in that part of the world are governed by dictators and the only reason we all put up with them is because they've got all the oil.
We know there are allegations the US tortured people in the aftermath of 9/11 and we also know that, because of the political situation at the time, some people suspect Britain was complicit in some of it.
We know all this already.
Just like we know there were never any WMDs in Iraq, that Fifa officials are as reliable as a dead car battery and Cher Lloyd will win X Factor.
What I don't understand is why we are all getting so het-up about these leaks. We are all adults, we can make our own minds up.
So the US has been spying on the UN (the US spies on everyone), Saudi Arabia wants a military strike on Iran (what's new?), Putin is "an alpha-dog", President Ahmadinejad is like "Hitler", Gordon Brown is wishy-washy. Blah blah blah, tell me something I don't know.
I thought politics was about to get interesting for a minute there.
And now WikiLeaks founder, 39-year-old Julian Assange, has been arrested over allegations of sexual assault – allegations he denies.
Assange, however, sly dog that he is, has an insurance policy – an encrypted cache of documents with even more stunning revelations already circulated to the world's press and thousands of individuals and he has only to utter the password for its contents to be revealed.
I almost can't wait.
If it reveals Gordon Brown had a voodoo doll of Tony Blair and was regularly caught waterboarding it and chopping its arms and legs off with scissors, I'll be impressed.
In any case, the 'insurance' file, as it is called, is a smart move on Assange's part.
But the fact he had to come up with such a contingency in the first place gives the lie to the sham that is modern democracy, which outwardly espouses lofty ideals like freedom, fairness and human rights but inwardly sponsors waterboarding, secrecy and shady backroom deals.
That's pretty much how the world works, isn't it? Despite overtures to the contrary, 'big stick politics' is the only real game in town.
It's the people with money who hold the power and they'll do whatever it takes to hold on to it.
Democracy, a form of limited freedom for the masses, is their smokescreen.
But we already know this.
WikiLeaks has been described as kick-starting the world's first 'information war'. That may be.
For anyone out there who still thinks WikiLeaks is a bad thing, just ask yourself if you'd rather have not known about the MPs' expenses scandal, or any other kind of revelation which involves wrong-doing or a transgression of the values most of us hold dear.
Whoever happens to reveal them, the point is you would want to know such things, you ought to at least, otherwise you are being played for a fool.
So while much of the WikiLeaks revelations amount to tittle-tattle, the real reason those in power don't like it is they've had the rug pulled from under their feet and they don't like it.
Toys are being thrown out of the pram. 'National security' is being threatened, for God's sake! I mean, tell me when it isn't.
Expect the WikiLeaks scandal to run and run, expect more name-calling, more not so stunning 'revelations' and the authorities to play dirty.
If Julian Assange falls, others will take up his sword.
The tide is coming in and as old King Cnut discovered, no-one can stop the sea.
But then, we already know this.
Santa sets stage for a good Christmas
WIKILEAKS and boring old politics aside, it's Christmas everyone! Well, almost.
I've already dressed up as Father Christmas twice, when I appeared in a dance show run by my other half and my jokes about 'elf and safety' and getting lost because of my dodgy 'Santa-nav' went down like a sack full of bricks in a duck pond.
There were ripples, but not of laughter.
Still, the kids enjoyed it, even though every year I assume the role I get one of them confronting me afterwards with some wild accusation like: "You're Santa!"
To which I normally respond: "No, he just borrowed my boots."
Seeing as it is Christmas and the season of good will and all that, I have a challenge for you. I want you to go out and just be good. Sounds easy, doesn't it?
Well, you don't have to go out of your way to complete this festive task. It just means being mindful, so, letting someone into a queue of traffic, opening a door for someone, saying thank you, smiling, laughing and generally thinking what might make someone else happy.
Just for Christmas, see how it makes you feel.
Like I said to the kids on stage, be good and Santa will bring you lots of lovely presents.
Consider this task a present to yourself.