Neil Hudson: Bored of Brexit? Not yet

Absolute poppycock.

On the contrary, I say the public is gripped by it. Who wouldn’t be? We’re mesmerised by every twist and turn. Shakespeare himself couldn’t have written it better. Who needs box sets when you’ve got Brexit?

Amid all the brinkmanship, broken promises, subterfuge and betrayal, there’s a story of hope and possibly even redemption (for Theresa May?) trying to break free. I don’t know about you but I am still trying to get over the fact that Jacob Rees-Mogg is actually a real person and not some character dreamt up by a bunch of scriptwriters desperately trying to keep their jobs.

Every day brings fresh revelations (and recently, resignations). At the centre of it all is the valiant yet slightly pathetic heroine, our PM, who is not only fending off the slings and arrows from across the English Channel but is having to fight a rear guard action from mutinous rebels within her own ranks.

As we enter the final furlongs of this political steeplechase, the best thing of all is there’s still no clear winner. BrexitMeansBrexit is more than a few necks down, while RemoanRemoan and BarnierSaysNon look to have edged it. But there are still a few more hedges to leap, ditches to clear and hurdles to overcome ere we enter the final straight.

So, keep on with the twists, the turns, the stabs in the back... it makes for gripping viewing. One gets the impression that even when the race is over (it will come down to a photo-finish, of course), there will be challenges and appeals and some dodgy backroom deals.

Then, in years to come, someone will make a TV series of the whole shebang with Olivia Colman as Mrs May and dare I suggest an aging Jason Statham as Boris Johnson (just think about it, let the idea settle...yes, he will probably need padding) and how about Daniel Radcliffe reprising his Harry Potter-esque role to double up as Mr Rees-Mogg?

One scene will run thus:-

EXT: Chequers

Boris ‘The Bulldog’ Johnson ‘walls up’ Michael Gove and snarls: “You’re outta your league here, pretty boy [pause for laughter]. This ain’t your gaff, son. Nah listen, you try scupper Brexit one more time and you’re back on the Moral Maze.” Cut!

Clearly, I missed my calling. The whole thing will be streamed on Netflix over endless months (if not years)... heaven forfend.