"I'm Prince Harry's girlfriend!" The ten best excuses for not having a TV licence used by Yorkshire viewers in 2017

People across Yorkshire offered up some bizarre excuses for not having a TV licence.
People across Yorkshire offered up some bizarre excuses for not having a TV licence.
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"I'm Prince Harry's girlfriend," "I only use it put photos on" and giving CPR to a goldfish were among some of the zaniest excuses for people not having a TV licence in the last year.

Scores of ridiculous and flawed real-life excuses given to TV Licensing by people in Yorkshire who have been caught watching TV or BBC iPlayer without a licence over the past year have been revealed.

Around 94% of UK homes are correctly licensed - but a small minority continue to offer enquiry officers flimsy excuses as to why they don’t have a licence when caught evading.

Top excuses in the area ranged from: “It’s only for the dog, it stops him howling when I’m out – I put it straight off when I come back in as there’s nowt on” to “I don’t need a TV licence, I have a shotgun.”

Dozens of tenuous excuses were collected from across the country.

A man from Hull said: “I only use it to put photos on it!” and a man from Middlesbrough said: “I couldn't get to the shop to pay as I've been constipated so missed a few payments.”

Matthew Thompson, TV Licensing spokesperson in the North, said: “We make every effort to find evaders and although excuses we hear can be ingenious, those we catch still need to buy a licence.

“We offer help to those struggling to buy and would much rather people buy a TV Licence in small weekly or monthly instalments, than face prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000.”

“A licence is needed not just for watching and recording live television but for watching or downloading BBC programmes on iPlayer.”

A TV Licence costs £147 and can be bought online at tvlicensing.co.uk/info or by calling 0300 790 6071.

TV Licensing – Top 10 excuses of the past year

"Sorry, I can’t buy a licence because I’m giving CPR to my goldfish"

"My tag interferes with the TV signal"

"I don’t watch the BBC [as the theme tune to EastEnders played out in the background]"

"I only watch Premier League football, and as I am a Newcastle fan, I no longer need a TV Licence"

"I only use it to put photos on it"

"I don’t need a TV Licence because when we got divorced a court gave her half of everything so I got the TV and she got the licence. Go find her!"

"I am exempt from buying a TV Licence, as I am Prince Harry’s girlfriend."

"I am not paying for my licence now that the BBC are showing porn. Gary Lineker in the nude on Match of the Day – disgusting!"

[With reference to a flat screen TV showing the Simpsons] Customer: "It's not a TV, it's an LCD fire."

Enquiry Officer: "And it's got Bart Simpson-shaped flames."

"I only have one leg, I shouldn’t have to pay"

The owners of Kettley's Andrew Collop his sister Nicola Davison and their cousin David Butler who between then have over 50 years experience of working in the business.

Kettley’s goes the extra mile to support house-bound customers