Welcome to the Batcave
Holy atomic pile, Batman, is this really the Batcave? Where is it? We canâ€™t tell you or else the Joker will know, but what we can say is that itâ€™s buried somewhere underneath Central London.
Whereâ€™s the Batmobile? No Batmobile, but instead this place has about 130 of the most expensive cars on the market. If you find the car park and can get through the security systems then you stand there, looking at lines of cars under identical dust covers.
The air is brightly lit by striplights and temperature and humidity controlled. The floors are spotless. You can see why itâ€™s called the Batcave.
Itâ€™s the brainchild of Tim Earnshaw, who ran the Marlboro hospitality units for the Ferrari F1 team for five seasons. He not only got a sense of the lengths some people will go to make things perfect, he also started to run his own car storage business at his parentsâ€™ farm. After leaving the hospitality business he decided he wanted to make the car storage a business. But to go the extra mile.
Which is why when your car arrives at the Batcave, it gets a 12-stage induction programme which includes photographing the car from all angles, giving the car a valeting, a protective treatment and more. Itâ€™s then parked in its own bay with the battery on trickle charge and the tyres pumped up. And there it waits, quietly under its cover until the owner wants it.
That could be a long wait, so every week the battery is checked and every 60 days the car goes on the rolling road to be brought up to operating temperature.
Getting the car back is not a spontaneous moment because the car has to undergo another programme before it can be released, ensuring everything works, all levels are good and the car has an MoT and tax â€“ theyâ€™ll sort that for you if necessary.
Only then can it be picked up or delivered. This is that extra mile point. One owner was on holiday in France when his Ferrari 575M broke down. He needed another car. So the Batcave released his Porsche 930 Turbo and it was delivered to Reims so the owner could continue his holiday in style. First world problems are hell.
Those are fairly typical cars for what lives under those anonymous wraps. We lift a few wraps and have a look, making sure our fingers donâ€™t touch the paintwork. A McLaren P1, a Ferrari Dino 246GT, Bugatti Veyrons, a Jaguar XK120, a Lancia Delta Integrale and even a Ford Capri 3.0S.
Itâ€™s the ultimate man cave, let alone Batcave, and youâ€™ll need Â£480 a month to store your car there â€“ at a sister facility in the Costwolds itâ€™s Â£270pcm.
So who does store their cars there? Theyâ€™ll only say people who are â€˜cash rich and time poorâ€™, like VIPs and celebrities â€“ including footballing legend Geoff Hurst, the only name theyâ€™ll release.
So if you win the lottery or become rather good at kicking a football about, youâ€™ll know where to go. If you can find it. Letâ€™s go there now. Come on Robin, to the Batcave! Thereâ€™s not a moment to lose!