I constantly joke about being the busy working mum who rarely wears make-up and arrives at her daughter’s nursery wearing Superdry leggings, battered old Converse trainers and a warm comfy hoody.
At the weekends I’m happiest rolling around in my wellies and old parka, even when I do the supermarket shop. Yes you may stare and think what on earth is that? But I don’t care.
My sense of style has almost disappeared, especially during the last year. Who gets up at 3.30am and really wants to wear high heels and fancy dresses? Not me…I don’t care what I look like in the studio, as long as I feel warm and comfortable.
I put up with the jokes from colleagues about how I look like death and how I never wear make-up, I shrug it off with laughter.
It would be a miracle if I ever got wolf whistled at and I find it hard to recall the last time a man checked me out.
If I think back to my twenties, things were quite different. I was always dressed up and I did have some admirers. I liked to make the effort and I very rarely went out without wearing make-up.
I blame it on married life, becoming a mum, working and never having any time but then when I see other mums looking very glamorous I wonder just how long I can hide behind my excuses.
I know when I lost ‘sexy’ me, I just don’t talk about it a lot because for me it’s like admitting a part of my life has gone, a chapter has ended. After having my daughter my body didn’t feel the same for lots of reasons but my ‘sexy’ absolutely disappeared and never really returned.
Even if you are in a happy marriage and would never stray, it’s a wonderful feeling to be paid a compliment from a member of the opposite sex. It’s a wonderful feeling to think someone else fancies you and they’re not your husband or wife.
This week I hosted a charity event so I had my hair and make-up done professionally. Out came my ‘go to’ jump suit. I wear it for every fancy event I go to (there really aren’t that many) and I usually get a compliment when I wear it.
I went from feeling like an old bag lady to a quite attractive woman who may just pass for 32 instead of 35. My year was made when the compliments from both women and men came my way.
I think it’s been a fair few years since a guy called me ‘fit’ but it did actually happen and it came from a man who didn’t look like he’d just left the circus!
I was blown away. Unfortunately I felt the need to tell my husband the good news and, as you can imagine, he wasn’t blown away. As he opened the door to me at 9.30pm that night I just blurted it out. Chris looked sad and said very little, although he did point out he wasn’t amused with a) a guy talking to me like that and b) my giddy behavior over this man’s comments.
The next morning at work I pondered on how selfish and silly I had been, so I texted my husband to say sorry and to tell him I love him more than anything. He’s fine about it, he knows what I’m like, but I know if the boot was on the other foot I would be anything but fine. I would be fizzing! I’d be in a jealous rage which would last for weeks.
What I am quick to forget is my husband fancies me just the way I am. He fancies me in the morning when I wake up with hair that resembles someone who’s been electrocuted.
He fancies me when I wear no make-up and I’m in my old clothes and wellies.
He says that’s the real me, naturally beautiful in his eyes and, let’s face it, that’s all that should matter.
Lesson learned – next time a man other than my husband tells me I look good, I shall keep it to myself.
Women shouldn’t judge each other
As a woman, it can feel like there is immense pressure to have children.
When I was 25 I remember a family friend asking my Nana Jean when I was going to start a family. At 25 I wasn’t ready to have kids. It had nothing to do with my career and everything to do with the fact I was a mess. I was wild, I loved going out and spending my pay on clothes and I had a disastrous love life. It wasn’t until I was 30 and I met my husband that my body started screaming at me ‘have a baby!’.
I was taken aback this week when watching the model and TV presenter Lisa Snowden talk about how, at 45, she had missed the opportunity to become a mum due to not finding the right man. I think it was brave of her to discuss it but she has so many things to celebrate in her life. She is beautiful and successful - what woman wouldn’t kill to look like her at 45?
I feel cross when I see on Facebook women without children berate women who have them. There is one Facebook friend I’m thinking of who takes great delight in ranting negatively about how childless women are persecuted.
I think, sadly, it works both ways. As women we need to do is support each other’s choices and celebrate them. Women who are mothers, women who don’t have children, career women, stay at home mothers. We are all fantastic and if we don’t support each other then who will?
I’m the man in my relationship
My husband can’t lift me. I am much heavier than him (it’s all muscle) and if we were ever mugged I’d be fighting them off whilst Chris cowered in a corner.
However, this week the realisation that I wear the trousers in our marriage was really brought home to me. Hubby has become addicted to eBay; he’s a proper Del Boy selling light fittings, fireplaces and a washing machine left behind by the people who we bought the house from. He was particularly proud of selling our old fridge freezer, the only downside being the buyer was collecting it at 7.30pm and I wouldn’t be there.
“He could be anyone Kelly, a serial killer” he said, followed by the question: “Could you text Scott next door and ask him to come round and stay with me whilst I deal with this guy”.
The humiliation of texting Scott, the manly builder, and explaining my husband ‘s predicament was quite something. So Scott came to Chris’s aide, the guys turned up and bought the fridge freezer and guess what…he wasn’t a serial killer. What a surprise!