It’s a sad fact in life that as we grow older we realise some friendships are meant to be and some are simply not.
We meet people who go on a journey with us for a reason but who are not meant to reach the destination with us.
It can be extremely painful when a friendship ends, a lot like grieving for a loved one after an affair collapses. As I grow older I constantly assess my friendships and I have come to realise there are very few people I trust.
I have been blessed to have met some wonderfully kind people in my life who have all meant something very special to me.
However I have also, like most of us, met people who I thought were my friends and discovered they weren’t actually nice people at all.
Last year a very close friendship of mine ended and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had. I miss that person very much and I’m still grieving over the loss.
We were extremely close, or so I thought, and I genuinely believed we would be friends forever.
There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think about them and wish things could be different. If only we could turn back time knowing what we know now then we would have a fighting chance to change everything or so we like to think.
The friend I lost rejected me in the end and I think that is one of the hardest things a person has to deal with. If we had ended up despising each other it may have been easy to deal with but rejection be it from a family member, a lover or a friend is never easy to accept.
If I think back to my school days I haven’t held onto any of my friends.
I couldn’t wait to get away from where I grew up and experience new places and new people.
Now at the age of 35 I can count on one hand the number of good friends I have, my husband Chris being my best friend. I tell him everything and he is my soul mate – I trust him more than I trust myself.
My second best friend is Danielle who I met when I was 20.
Sadly we don’t live near each other but we can call each other or meet up and it’s always like no time as passed at all. She is the most caring, kind, none judgmental person I know and I feel so lucky to have her in my life. Then there is Rossie who came into my life after I had my daughter.
Our children are the same age and we used to live a door down from each other.
Rossie got me through the early stages of motherhood – she was always there for me with a gin and tonic and we would both talk about the shock of having a baby!
Sadly we don’t live near each other anymore but we are still in touch and I think about her everyday. With three hours travel between us, children and work it is hard to meet up but I will never forget how blessed I am just to have met her.
Then there is the beautiful Alanna who I met after falling pregnant and enduring endless all day sickness.
Alanna specialises in pre-natal and post-natal pregnancy massage and reflexology. She helped me get through the tough physical stages of pregnancy and became a wonderful friend. She is a beautiful soul who never judges and always has a hug to offer.
So I already have a lot to be grateful for, I am lucky to have some exceptionally wonderful people in my life.
So how do I move on from this friendship? How can I accept the loss? I believe the best thing we can do in the after math of a friendship breaking down is to stay positive.
Learn from it and wish that person well. Life is far too short for any bitterness, always try and forgive and remember the good times. I know it’s going to take me a long time to heal after losing my friend but I feel lucky just to have been on a very special journey with that person and I will never forget any of it.
It’s good to remember as friends come and go, only a few remain, and those few are really precious.
Mums doing best they can
Our Hot Mess Mums feature on the show is continuing to grow from strength to strength.
We welcomed 20 new members last week who we took to Browns for a meal and fizz and it was a great afternoon.
Our mum listeners come on the show and tell a story involving an embarrassing mum fail, and then they join the club, a club which never judges.
I get things started because I have a bank of Hot Mess Mum stories including this week getting caught by my daughter throwing away her paintings (or scribbles) in the bin!
Lynnette was one of the lovely Leeds mums who joined us for our lunch.
She came on the radio to tell us an hilarious story of how she thought her little boy was strapped in to his car seat ready to go but once she set off she thought it was far too quiet.
Turned out her little boy was nowhere to be seen and had got out of the car and gone to see their neighbours before Lynette had driven off!
It’s great to chat with other mums and hear their stories, I think it makes every mum realise we are only human and we are all just doing the best job we can.
Bond campaign for my co-host
Co-presenting with me on my Saturday show at the moment is Emmerdale’s Mike Parr who plays the Dale’s bad boy Ross Barton.
Mike is such a lovely guy and it’s always so nice working with him. Last Saturday on the show we talked about who should be the next Bond with Mike saying he’d quite fancy the gig, I’m biased but I obviously think he’d make a great 007.
It seems we’ve started quite the campaign now with lots of female fans agreeing that our Emmerdale hunk should be considered for the role.
Emmerdale’s my absolute favourite soap because it’s so down to earth and so well written. The recent storyline involving the character Ashley being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s has been superbly portrayed.
You can listen to Mike Parr this Saturday from 9am until midday on my Saturday show on Radio Aire and across the north of England and catch him weekday nights in Emmerdale as Ross Barton on ITV 1 from 7pm.