Kelly Pegg: Compatibility is what holds two people together

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An age gap in a relationship often divides opinion.

It seems in society that it’s more acceptable for an older man to date a much younger woman but when it’s the other way round for some reason it’s always more shocking.

The actress Kate Beckinsdale is reportedly dating a 21- year-old who is just two years older than her daughter. At the age of 43 this means there is a 22 year age gap between them. Of course the media is throwing around labels like toy boy and cougar to describe the pair’s relationship.

It’s even been suggested in some media reports that she is having a ‘midlife’ crisis. How unfair and isn’t this just another example of how the media treats women differently to men?

There are many high profile women who have relationships with much younger men.

Madonna and the actress Barbara Windsor who at the age of 73 is married to someone 20 years her junior. I once dated a guy who was five years younger than me when I was in my 20s but it was short lived. He was handsome and kind but just too young for me. I’ve always been attracted to older men and I’ve found young men just can handle me, I think this is because I am quite difficult!

My husband is a young 48, he doesn’t look his age, he doesn’t dress his age but where it counts he is mature. He takes care of his family and he’s the wisest person I know. Chris is very trendy, he loves TV shows like Game Of Thrones and Breaking Bad and wears mostly trendy clothes.

Me? Well I’m a real saddo, I love Murder She Wrote and Father Brown (basically anything old and murder mystery like) and my favorite drink is hot chocolate. It’s actually Chris who’s married to the older person! Before Chris I dated older men who did act their age though and I found them boring and it didn’t last. I do think women are more mature than men and although looks matter at the start of a relationship, compatibility is what holds two people together.

You can’t beat being with someone who makes you laugh and has good conversation. I think a brain is one of the sexiest things about a person.

When you read articles about male celebrities like Mel Gibson or Rod Stewart who have a much younger female partner it often comes across like “the guy’s done good”. We received a letter on the show this week from a man who was 48 and dating a 23-year-old girl. He didn’t know if he should make up or break up with her as he admitted that he was struggling to keep up with her wild partying ways.

The consensus from most guys who called the show was to enjoy it whilst it lasted but I said he should break up. Now obviously I’m not against age gaps however I do believe that sometimes the age gap can be too much and there’s a possibility that a couple have very little in common. In the case of the guy who contacted us, it was obvious that his much younger girlfriend looked great on his arm and his friends thought this was brilliant. That is not a reason to date someone though; it’s shallow and not genuine. He even admitted that they had nothing in common and he struggled with her late night antics involving clubbing when he just wanted to be at home curled up in bed. I must admit this sounds like my idea of hell, I am an old 35 and love nothing more than sitting in curled up in front of the fire watching a movie. At 23 though I loved going out every weekend and living a carefree life with little responsibility. She is clearly at a completely different stage of her life to him. Maybe she idolises this man and likes the fact that he’s older and chivalrous but what is really in it for him other than the obvious? That’s where I draw the line and I actually think he’s taking advantage of her, in my opinion he should know better.

Age is only a number though and if a person has genuine feelings for someone then it shouldn’t matter.

We should all let love and let live and try to accept every type of relationship.

Holly’s a great role model

TV Presenter Holly Willoughby is everywhere at the moment all because she appears to be looking a little more slim line than usual.

Known for her curvaceous figure, the stunning mum of three is loved by just about everyone. Now it seems ‘everyone’ wants answers as to where have the 36-year-old’s curves have vanished to. I she does look a little slimmer but I don’t believe she looks too thin or ill. I think it’s a shame instead of saying “wow she looks amazing” and celebrating her beauty, we are judging her and calling her too thin.

Let’s be honest if she had piled on four stone the media would be fat shaming her. We are so aware of our appearance and of everyone else’s that sometimes it feels like how a person looks is all that matters. As the mother of a little girl I worry so much about how body image and confidence will affect her, as she grows older. At home I try my best not to make any negative remarks about myself in front of her like ‘does my bum looks big in this?’ I constantly tell her she is clever and beautiful and can do anything. I’m not sure at the age of nearly four she understands me but I do try. It is important to look good and feel good for our own self-esteem but it doesn’t define who we are as people and what we are capable of. Instead of judging her we should be admiring her, she is a beautiful, talented, working mummy and a great role model for all women out there.

Ant’s idea to save some cash

My co-host Ant turns 30 in a couple of weeks and is throwing a big party to celebrate.

With a holiday to pay for, a new house and a wedding, Ant has got his work cut out when it comes to saving the pennies.

This week he asked the people of Leeds if they thought it was okay to charge people to come to his birthday party. I was absolutely horrified and told him he couldn’t do this under any circumstances. One of the reasons I love working with Ant is his honesty, he always say’s what’s on his mind and nearly always shocks me.

I thought our listeners would think it was a terrible idea but to my surprise we had a caller who actually charged her friends to come to her dinner parties! I told her straight there would be no way I’d attend.

You choose to have a party or a dinner party then you pay for it surely? Maybe I’m just old fashioned, could this be the way forward charging our own friends and family to celebrate big occasions with us? I sincerely hope not!

Sarah Champion MP

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