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Young mums in Leeds tell their inspirational stories
WHEN these mums discovered they were pregnant, they felt scared, lonely and terrified at the prospect of giving birth and raising a child.
For first-time mothers, these feelings are not unusual – but the mums at this young parents group in Leeds all share one thing in common.
They were all teenagers when they found out they were pregnant, living at home, barely out of school and with little or no qualifications.
But against the odds, these mums have not simply relied on hand-outs, or milked the benefits system for everything they can get.
Many are bringing up two children but have refused to put their lives on hold, juggling motherhood with part-time jobs or college courses to earn more cash and ultimately, make life more comfortable for their families.
But, as these mums know, having a child, running a house AND holding down a job is a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week commitment – and they're telling their stories to help other young people make the right decision.
"I'm not going to lie because it was a really difficult time," said Emma Thompson, 23, who fell pregnant with her son Jordan when she was just 15. "Luckily, I had amazing support from my family and my partner. We were childhood sweethearts.
"Since Jordan was born, we've had another daughter, Mollie, who is now three, and we recently got married.
"Getting pregnant at 15 wasn't something I planned but I never really had any career plans. I always wanted to have kids and raise a family.
Experiences
"I love my kids to bits and I don't regret anything. But if I could do it all again, maybe I would wait a few years.
"People have to be sure they're ready before they have kids. It's not easy and being pregnant so young was quite scary.
"The birth was absolutely terrifying. Some people think that raising babies is a doddle but it's really not."
The mums from the young parents group, based at Swarcliffe Children's Centre, will write about their experiences of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and motherhood for a new magazine called Leeds Young Parents (LYP), which will be published early next year.
The 16-page magazine will offer advice and support to young people who are pregnant or considering having a baby, featuring real-life stories from real-life mums to help them make the right decisions about their future.
The brochure, which will be distributed to young people by the Leeds Youth Service, is a joint project by the young parents group in Swarcliffe and community group Breast Buddies, which works in the surrounding area.
Mum-of-two Joanne Fletcher, 23, will tell her story of childbirth, having experienced a relatively easy birth with her daughter Ruby, three, but a nightmare birth with her son Max, five months.
"Ruby's birth was quite fast," she said. "It was six hours labour and I did it with just gas and air.
"With Max, they sent me home from the hospital when I was near enough ready to have him.
"I had to get an ambulance in the end because he came really fast and his cord snapped. It was tangled around his neck.
"It was very, very painful because I didn't have time for any pain relief. If I'd had him at home, he would have died.
"Sometimes I wonder about what my life would be like if I'd waited a few years, not that I'd change anything.
"Having kids is the best thing I've ever done but it's not a decision to be taken lightly."
To celebrate the launch of the magazine, which was funded by a 2,000 grant from Leeds Community Chest, make-up artists from Virgin Vie made all 12 writers – eight from the group and four from Breast Buddies – look glamourous for a photoshoot.
Laura Charlesworth, 21, was amazed by the transformation following the late nights and early mornings she endures thanks to her two-year-old daughter Abigail, as well as her part-time evening job at a local supermarket.
Laura, who is five months pregnant with her second child, will talk about balancing work with pregnancy and motherhood for the magazine, which will be published by ICM Creative Communications in Headingley, Leeds.
"At the moment, I work because I have to, not because I want to," she said. "We need the money, it's as simple as that.
Advice
"It's a struggle and very tiring, but we manage. I work in the evenings and my partner Craig works during the day, so we share the childcare.
"One day, I do want to have a proper career. At the moment, it's on hold, but I'm looking forward to achieving my goals one day.
"My advice to other teenagers would be to wait. Someone at work keeps talking about having a baby and I keep telling her not to.
"She's only just turned 17, in sixth form and she got all A's in her GCSEs. It would ruin her. She thinks it's easy but it's not like that."
As well as offering advice about pregnancy and birth, the magazine is also designed to encourage more young mums to breastfeed, after new figures revealed breastfeeding rates in Leeds were lower than the national average.
Around 75 per cent of UK mums breastfeed but, although the number sounds high, the UK actually has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in Europe – most mums resort to formula within weeks, with fewer than half still breastfeeding when their child is six weeks old.
"While we recognise that every mum has a right to decide how to feed her baby we would like mums-to-be to make an informed decision about this," said Breast Buddies director Kathryn Holme, who set the wheels in motion on the project.
"One of the aims of the magazine is to show that some young mums have successfully breastfed and the hope is that this will influence their peers to at least consider breastfeeding following the baby's birth."
Leeds City Council youth worker Jane Devine, who runs the group, said: "I thought the magazine was a fantastic idea. It's always good to give young people the opportunity to talk about their experiences of being a parent.
"It doesn't come with a manual and it can be quite hard. But support is available and these young parents are here for each other.
"They provide advice and encouragement, share their experiences and make decisions about the group and the projects we do.
"A lot of people have the idea that young mums rely on benefits. But these women work really hard and completely go against that stereotype."
For more information about Breast Buddies, visit www.breastbuddies.org.
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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