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Rod McPhee: Rage against the X Factor 'rebels'
I TELL you what I miss about the old-fashioned 'race' for the Christmas number one, I miss the complete randomness of it.
The X Factor, obviously, has a lot to answer for. It has negated the joy of the 80s and 90s when any number of bizarre and utterly non-festive tunes often made it to the top spot.
Take, for example, 1987 when the frontrunner was the brilliantly seasonal Fairytale of New York by The Pogues. They really ought to have come first but instead it was the Pet Shop Boys crazy hi-nrg electonica remix of Elvis Presley's Always on my Mind.
And in 1993 Mr Blobby beat Take That to number one, even though the boyband had taken Britain by storm that year. Admittedly Babe was a dreadful song, but let's brush over that.
There's more: anyone remember Mad World in 2003? Bob the Builder in 2000? And what about The Flying Pickets' Only You in 1983?
Random or otherwise, The X Factor has played a big part in wiping out any potential opposition, but the irritating aspect to the current online backlash against Joe McElderry's The Climb is that, once again, it's a completely contrived action.
It is, rather like Cowell's hit machine, a nationwide campaign. It isn't just a band releasing a single and hoping for the best just like they used to in the random old days.
And it's almost as cynical. It's cynical because those leading the anti-X Factor Facebook movement have chosen a track by Rage Against the Machine as a rallying point, asking fellow dissenters to download it in a bid to scupper McElderry.
But the Christmas number one battle should never be about politics and this choice of tune reeks of contrary youth taking some kind of lame, self- righteous stand.
Just how middle class and cosy is this 'rebellion'? These bedroom freedom fighters aren't taking to the sub-zero streets with placards are they? They're cosily downloading a track on daddy's Sony Vaio. Oh yeah, they're REALLY raging against the machine there, aren't they? Grrrrrrrr. You go guys.
In contrast most of the people who will buy Joe McElderry's track are most likely to be your regular working class boys and girls who've spent weeks watching The X Factor and already voted for this Geordie teenager.
Ok, it's still all saturated in an equally cynical commercialism but, well, so what? People don't have to buy his single. These aren't brainless victims of a national con, they just want a nice tune to hum for crying out loud.
If the Facebook mutineers had really wanted to negate the commercialism, why didn't they do so with a little Christmas spirit and choose a suitably festive tune as a means of beating McElderry? What about, just to pluck a name out of the air, John Lennon's Merry Christmas (War is Over)?
I'll tell you why: because this is a pretty smug, self-serving exercise. Those people who frantically downloaded Rage Against the Machine aren't cultural anarchists, they're an equally manufactured movement replacing the old-fashioned, random race for the Christmas number one with even more cynicism.
Vicious circle
IT'S interesting to see police have issued warnings about the increased use of new party drug Mephedrone, better known as MCAT or Meow.
Word is that this is fast becoming the substance of choice among users in Leeds since it gives a similar effect to Ecstasy and is completely legal. So, it's not only easier to get hold of but cheaper too.
The issue is how we deal with loopholes like this because MCAT is an example of how dealers have cottoned onto the fact that there will always be a similar alternative to more conventional highs like coke or ecstasy.
Because specific substances have to be named and classified under the Misuse of Drugs Act it means that those which aren't can be used without fear of breaking the law. So, as soon as one substance is made illegal another legal one takes its place.
With this bizarre cycle in mind, isn't it time the government radically reassessed its approach if it's to solve the real problems of drug usage?
The 'wight' decision
THERE'S been a lot of controversy surrounding the fact that Jonathan Ross – despite taking a huge pay cut this week – still gets paid a whopping 3million by the BBC.
Unlike bandwagon-jumpers I don't have a huge problem with this. I'm not nuts about Wossy myself but if the powers that be on TV deem him to be the best of the best then he should get the top wage too.
I appreciate it's always a little uncomfortable when the public's cash is being spent but the alternative is that commercial radio and TV stations suck up all the talent and start to dominate. That would be far worse.
The entertainment industry does attract large salaries – it's a simple fact. And compared with the money which stars in the States take home 3m is peanuts.Why does everyone in this country insist on thinking small? Why do we carry this constant mantle of self-deprecation?
Whether you like Ross or not, he is someone who has made a success of himself. Rather than knock people who've done well, why not celebrate them and hold them up as inspirational figures? It's just not very British, I guess.
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