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NIGEL SCOTT: Brave new world
OK, I'll admit it. I've turned into an HD bore. A Morrissey-style "crashing bore", as well, as Mrs S will readily testify.
There was a time – a pre-Normanton Towers time – when she and I were newly wed and in our first throes of marital strife (sorry, life) when a little square 21-inch telly took up a rather unassuming position in the corner of our living room.
We (I say "we", I probably mean "I") were excited back then at the fact that it had Nicam stereo sound.
"How much better can telly get?" I wondered. Quite a bit, as it has turned out.
This was also pre-Sky in our home when we were content with just a few channels coming through our aerial.
Eventually, of course, and being a boy, I couldn't help improving my toys (after all, whatever the women and children of the household may argue, the TV – like the barbecue in the garden – remains the domain of the male).
When we got a 28-inch telly, which took up a considerably larger chunk of the corner of the living room (even in the more palatial surroundings of Normanton Towers), we again thought we had reached our maximum TV watching potential.
The years passed and tellies changed again. They got bigger. They got flatter.
I got itchy feet – or at least an itchy remote control finger. I coveted these glossy black giants in the electrical stores but knew I just couldn't justify splashing the cash.
What made it worse is my mum and dad had shelled out a not inconsiderable amount on a giant telly in their own home and upgraded to Sky HD.
How dare these – my dad's description – "poor pensioners" have a better audio-visual set up in their front room than me?
And then, as recorded here a couple of weeks back, dear old Nanna Betty passed away and, out of the blue, it was revealed that her parting gift to me was just enough unexpected cash to be able to go out and indulge my craving.
Hence the corner of the room is now dominated – though I must assure you in a tasteful way – by a 37-inch telly and Normanton Towers has embraced the brave new world of HD TV since last week when the Sky man turned up with our new updated box.
And since then, of course, everyone who has crossed the threshold of Normanton Towers has been right royally bored to death by me.
My current lifestyle is to be rooted to my comfy armchair; a bit like Jimmy Savile in his Jim'll Fix It days (or a rather more upholstered version of the Dalek creator Davros) with several remote controls balanced on the chair arm.
Should you visit, I will sit you down and talk of little else but the huge difference in quality between the old and the new and I will give you an extended demonstration whether you really want to experience it or not.
Mrs S is fed up of it. The kids have had enough of it and even my mother-in-law Trudie, a regular daytime visitor during my current illness which has been well documented previously, seems to be keeping a little more distance.
I'd like to offer my apologies to all and to beg those who might be thinking of popping over for a visit to be patient. I'm sure this current obsession will wear off – eventually.
And finally, a word of warning, HD TV is not without its dangers – as I discovered just the other night when indulging in a bout of mindless flicking through the HD channels.
While, by and large, anything in HD is an awesome sight to behold, the images on the wildlife programme I inadvertently tuned into left me feeling distinctly queasy.
A pride of lions was gamely tucking into a felled animal of not inconsiderable bulk and in full HD glory the camera lovingly focussed on one which was, not to beat about the African bush, eating away at its backside.
Some HD images you can do without, especially just after you've had your tea.
Caring and sharing
I MUST admit when I started to write about my current battle with bowel cancer I wasn't sure how things would develop – both in terms of my health and your reactions to it.
But I've been overwhelmed by the positive comments and correspondence I've received from many of you who have faced or are facing similar battles.
I've drawn strength from them, and I seem to be growing stronger in myself (touch wood).
Now I know you can't please all of the people all of the time.
I was nevertheless a little taken aback that someone took the time and effort to send me a personal letter basically telling me to shut up because her husband wasn't well either and they weren't making a song and dance about it.
I feel sorry for whoever that person is; that they can have become so bitter because of their own experience.
I'd have replied to her personally but she opted not to give a name or address.
I wish her and her husband well in their own battle but I'll give them this bit of advice.
Facing adversity in life is a lot easier if you have the comfort and support of others and I've certainly felt a lot of that since I started to write about my own situation.
Gord's wasted efforts
SO our great leader Gordon Brown is to devote part of his holidays to carrying out some voluntary work, is he?
Apparently this was meant to be a big secret. Who is he trying to kid?
There was about as much chance of such a move staying a secret as there is of a wrinkly woman getting a high-profile job on the next series of Strictly Come Dancing.
This is all about GB trying to regain a bit of popularity.
Someone, presumably, the lovely Mandy (sorry, Lord Mandelson), should take him to one side and tell him it's a bit late for that.
Mr Brown is the ex-Chancellor who fiddled while the value of our homes burned; the man on whose watch the economy crumbled and our collective debts skyrocketed; the unelected leader of our nation who bottled a general election designed to give his premiership credibility.
Now he's an unloved, unwanted hanger-on – even to many within his own party.
The only volunteering GB needs to undertake this summer is to volunteer himself and his party for that much-needed general election.
Then the country can have its say; we can clear the decks and vote a regime into place with the authority to tackle to unholy mess this country is in – and, sadly, for which we will be paying for many years to come.
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Sunday 12 February 2012
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