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Neil Hudson: Cold, wet, windy, dangerous...but I'll carry on camping
One of my abiding memories of camping is my parents battling valiantly to stop our tent blowing away in a force-nine gale somewhere in Wales.
People in caravans were leaving but my mum and dad were adamant we would have a good time, hurricane or not.
Another memory is me going head first over the handlebars of my bicycle and nutting the tow-hitch on our caravan, which I can recommend if you ever want a golf-ball sized lump on your forehead.
Then there was the time I went camping with an SAS-obsessed mate of mine, who deliberately pitched the tent on a hill (which I thought was odd) so he could practice sticking his hunting knife through the canvas floor and dragging himself up inside while wearing his Army-style combats and camo face paint. Which was a really nice image to wake up to one morning.
A couple of years back, my partner and I found a fly-infested, cow-pat ridden field somewhere in flattest, boring-est Norfolk and wouldn't you know it, it decided to rain. Not just any rain, though, monsoon-style rain. One night, after holding it in longer than you should, I decided to make a dash for the loo/shed.
Then my torch failed.
Then, I had to get back to the tent... in the rain, in total darkness.
I made an educated guess where our tent was and was going pell mell across the field when something hit me in the face.
In a blind panic, I stumbled on, reached our tent, scampered inside and pretended my pillow wasn't damp, there were no insects in my bed and no moths landing on my face. I just love going to sleep drenched, sweating in a damp bed. It's therapeutic. In the same way wearing a hair vest is.
The following day I discovered what had hit me. Next door had put a swingball up, except it was no longer 'up'. In fact, the children standing around it looked a bit peeved. The pole was practically bent double. Oops.
That made my day that did.
With all that trauma, you'd think I'd had my fill of tenting but no, I've just been away again... to Wales. And lo, it did not rain! Well, when I say it did not rain, I mean it did not rain on one of the days. Which is good going for Wales.
We found a nice campsite in Conwy, or Cwmy, or Cmllywl, or some place with a lot of 'w's and 'll's in it.
We pitched up and had a really great time, despite the fact the people in the next tent brought a TV – WHY? – which they proceeded to watch until past midnight.
Seriously, what's the point in going camping and taking a TV? Especially to watch a boxed set of Dallas. Surely the object of camping is to get away from all that nonsense.
Still, I thought they were an odd couple when they fetched a dog out of their tent in a tiny metal cage and as my 16-month-old son toddled towards it, proceeded to tell us, 'It's okay, it doesn't bite.'
Really, I thought, is that why it's in a cage? Because it doesn't bite? It's a dog. Dogs bite. Period. Maybe she meant the cage didn't bite...
On the Day Of No Rain, we found a nice secluded spot on a deserted piece of sand. We could have been anywhere.
It was idyllic. Until a mobile phone-wielding family from Essex came and sat right next to us. Why do people do that?
Despite these niggles, oh, and the arguments (did I mention them?) we had the best time. No, really. People go camping partly to remind themselves how good living in a house is but also to rediscover what's important in life and it's not mobile phones, TVs and the nine-to-five rat race.
No, it's dry bedding, spending long days with loved ones and discovering they make whisky in Wales.
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Weather for Leeds
Thursday 24 May 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 10 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North east
Tomorrow
Sunny
Temperature: 9 C to 21 C
Wind Speed: 16 mph
Wind direction: East
