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Jayne Dawson: Still smiling through...
It's been a good week for old women, a week that proves mature females are not entirely dead in the water – I know, ouch, what an unfortunate turn of phrase.
But you know what I mean. After a period when to have lost the bloom of youth seemed to make women good for nothing but a good kicking, careerwise (I'm thinking Arlene-gate, Selena-gate, Moira-gate) it lifts the little hearts of some of us to see older members of our sex doing OK.
Out there, leading the battle charge, is Vera Lynn. Who would have thought it?
She's 92 years old and when the Second World War War started, some 70 summers ago, she rolled her eyes, tutted, looked mighty fed-up and said "bang goes my so-called career, then."
Or words along those lines, anyhow, because Vera was convinced the outbreak of war would mean curtains for her fledgling stardom, which shows that some people can be completely and utterly wrong, and still be successful. Where is the fairness?
Vera was insanely wrong when she called that one because, as we speak, she is No 2 in the UK album charts with The Very Best of Vera Lynn and giving interviews about how those Kings of Leon are probably nice boys but no match for her with their Sex On Fire stuff, which is why she is currently whupping their collective ass. Or words along those lines, anyhow.
Only Arctic Monkeys are standing between The Forces Sweetheart and the top spot and she may yet be clambering over their defeated bodies to take the victory salute. Or she will be if we all Do The Right Thing and buy her collection of emblematic war songs.
To be fair, the surge in popularity is not really about Vera so much as the period she represents. The Second World War being a terrifying but exciting time for those lucky enough not to be among the millions who died; and for those born after the event, it's a fascinating slice of life when all the normal rules were suspended.
But Vera somehow came to epitomise the love, loss and determined, chipper optimism necessary to get through it all, and 70 years on she's still as polished and professional as ever on camera, modestly telling the world how smacked her gob is at the turn of events. Or words along those lines, anyhow.
Coming up behind Vera in the successful older woman league is Anne Robinson, not nearly so lovable but then how many people with a personal fortune around 60m are lovable? There's a barrier, you can't quite put your finger on...oh yes, it's their unimaginable wealth.
Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago, Anne was being derided, even pilloried, for being remarkably fresh-faced for her 64 years.
Only, not so much fresh-faced as frozen-faced to be honest. In her case, the wind obviously had changed at the wrong moment, freezing her features into a staring-eyed version of her former self with one eyebrow disappearing skywards.
Luckily, it turns out that was just a bad publicity shot, and now, after an eight-year gap, Anne is back with a proper, serious television show in the form of a new series of the consumer rights show Watchdog.
Plus she's been pictured doing a 3 mile run around the park (how do they know, did they run after her the whole way wearing one of those things that counts your steps?) with a young personal trainer and a very cute spaniel for company.
During her run, Anne was overheard to bet the photographers that she could get rid of her batwings faster than they could make 60m. Or words along those lines, anyhow.
Then there's Helen Mirren, also 64, who has been pictured on another beach wearing another fantastic piece of beach kit. I know, I know, another summer, another picture of Helen looking fabulous in the altogether, and yes, she's just making it harder for the rest of us, the ones who are not quite yet 64 but still can't hold a candle to her curvy form.
This time Dame Helen was heard to say to photographers that, fair enough, her thighs were showing a bit of wear and tear this year, but she was leaving the little Italian beach now and retiring to the darling little castle she bought to celebrate her surprise little Oscar for her part in the film The Queen, and where were they staying? Or words along those lines, anyhow.
Really, you have to be proud. It's a double-edged sword, of course it is. These women are raising the bar, they're making it that much harder for the rest of us to ever slip into our elastic waists and watch daytime telly.
But let's cheer them on anyway. Vera, Anne and Helen, what they're saying is that elastic waists should always be a personal choice and not standard issue, handed out by whippersnappers who think they know it all. Or words along those lines, anyhow.
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Weather for Leeds
Sunday 12 February 2012
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