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JAYNE DAWSON: The best of times
I won't lie to you, I feel a bit miffed. A bit like I used to be special but now I'm not. A bit like I had something interesting and different going on there – but now I'm just common.
It's autumn that's done it. I used to be one of its few fans. Other people eulogised summer, or rhapsodised about spring but I got all misty-eyed at the dying of the light, and never mind what everyone else thought.
But now people are queuing up to talk about the wonders of the autumn season. Apparently autumn reminds them of new beginnings. They smell freshly sharpened pencils in the air, imagine the spring of new school shoes under their feet, see visions of shiny compasses and clean school bags.
But these people need to get over themselves. Autumn is about lot more than new term time. Autumn is a complex bouquet of a fabulous season, and these are the real reasons why:
The clothes
Summer clothes are rubbish. Summer clothes are a rag-bag, a mish mash, a jumble sale of droopy, coloured, patterned, frilly, flouncy things. Things that by the end of August have slipped off the hanger and on to the shop floor, which is where they belong.
There they are trodden on by bored shoppers flicking through the sales racks in a desultory fashion while longing for their first sighting of a grey wool dress.
Strictly Come Dancing
Everything about Strictly Come Dancing is currently irritating me. I hate the fact the BBC has taken a successful little gem of a show and mined it mercilessly, spreading its contents thinner and thinner. I hate the fact they have tried to give it X-Factor appeal by bringing in Alesha Dixon (right) as a judge, somehow forgetting that the host is 81 and unlikely to appeal to the youngsters. I hate the fact they keep swapping the days it appears and tinkering with the formula. But it still makes autumn special.
Candles
Nothing adds instant cosiness like a flickering candle in a warm, peaceful room on a dark autumn eve. They speak to our souls of home and hearth and comfort, and this makes up for the fact that they are a complete menace, scorching, charring, searing all manner of things it wouldn't seem possible for something as underpowered as a candle to damage. And dripping wax over all the things they don't manage to set on fire. (Tip for you: brown paper and a hot iron actually does remove candle grease. Even from walls)
Christmas fantasies
Now is the time to have them. Watch those films, imagine that freezer stocked full of mince pies made with homemade pastry brimming with homemade mincemeat. Imagine your house all clean and shiny and twinkly and sparkly. Imagine collecting holly with your rosy cheeked children, their laughter ringing out in the sharp, frosty air. Imagine all that while the nights are drawing in but the stress-filled, exhausting , expensive, fattening reality is still – just about – a safe distance away.
Party conference season
I love conference season. It reminds me of when I was very, very pregnant, sitting on the sofa at home, eating sweets with the abandon of someone who had already gained four stones, and watching Labour supporters baiting and heckling the MPs on stage. Obviously this was many years ago, before hecklers were extinguished from all political parties.
My brother in law's allotment
Anyone need any Victoria plums? At the last count my brother-in-law's tree had yielded about a million. Then there are the tomatoes, the apples, the pumpkins, the giant marrows, the green beans, the beetroot, the...I could go on but I have to go home now and try to cram it all in the fridge/freezer/my mouth.
Meat and potato pie
I love sushi ,and I love salad and I love all manner of clean, sharp flavours – but I don't love them as much as I love meat and potato pie with suet pastry.
My mother in law has just made her first pie of the season. And it's in my fridge. With a jug of gravy.
Boots, gloves, hats and scarves
What's not to love? Who wants to be unfettered and free, who wants to walk around in the sunshine wearing nothing but a little shift dress and a big smile pretending they are in Ibiza, when they could be striding through the sharpness of an autumn morning all dressed up in a hat, scarf and gloves and feeling – just very, very English.
Russett apples
My brother-in-law doesn't grow these. This spoils my autumn a bit.
Opaque tights
But more than all of the above, much, much more than any of that, autumn means safe, forgiving, black opaque tights can be worn – without the funny looks those of us who wear them all summer are just really tired of seeing. Okay?
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Weather for Leeds
Thursday 24 May 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: 10 C to 25 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North east
Tomorrow
Sunny
Temperature: 9 C to 21 C
Wind Speed: 16 mph
Wind direction: East
