Jayne Dawson: And wear now?
We can't help ourselves really, can we? We know it's wrong, we know it's trivial, we know it counts for nothing, but still we're doing it. Still we're paying attention to what our leaders' wives are wearing.
Who is to blame?
It could be Margaret Thatcher's fault. I'm not making any comment on her policies, you understand. In this period of electioneering, my views are as neutral as this season's spring palette.
But you would have had to be pretty unobservant to have lived through Margaret Thatcher's reign and not noted the fact that, style-wise, our leader turned from suburban housewife to glamour kitten.
Mrs T walked into Number 10 wearing a weekly wash and set hairstyle (don't scoff too much, apparently they're coming back) and the kind of outfits that were so boring as to be impossible for the human eye to register. They were just... nothing. Like the visual equivalent of a dog whistle, they were there, but not there.
A few years in and it was a very different cut of the jib. By the mid-eighties Mrs T was working power shoulders and power hair. Sometimes she went a tad too far, I'm thinking of that time she teamed her silk headsquare with an Army tank..but then again, what is fashion about, if it isn't about taking risks?
So maybe it's her fault that we judge women in the political arena on their looks, whether they are our elected representatives or just married to the leader of a party.
Or maybe it's part of a bigger issue to do with the objectification of women ... or maybe it's just human nature, and a good way to fill a few moments away from our office computer.
Whatever the reason, Samantha Cameron and Sarah Brown will be making some tough decisions right now. Oh, all right, and the other one as well.
Actually, Mrs Nick Clegg, more properly known as Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, might be feeling smugly out of the fray.
She might be thinking that she can still nip up to the garage for a carton of milk in her grubby trackie bottoms and that sweatshirt that has been her comfort top for the past 20 years.
And maybe she can, but she should enjoy it while it lasts – already this top lawyer has had to work out the correct attire for building a dry stone wall (she chose jeans and a big grey cardigan to take part in this activity at the weekend) and, should there be a hung parliament, the entire country could be hanging on her hemline.
For Sam and Sarah it's too late. They are already living on the fashion frontline, doing daily battle with each other and the tabloid newspapers.
Their every garment is a is a potential vote winner, or loser. They are way, way beyond the basic questions (Does it make me look fat? Will anyone notice that mark?) and into a different stratosphere where the fortunes of their family can turn on a neckline or a shoe choice.
Their husbands have only to remember not to stray too far from the suited look and they are on safe ground. If they manage to look clean and tidy, that's basically enough. Their outfits are just bits of fabrics – not political messages, lifestyle statements and beauty competitions. It's unfair, so, so unfair. Just like life in general. Battle is well advanced now. In Leeds, Samantha Cameron went casual, but what was she telling us with those Converse trainers? What were the subliminal messages? Was she signalling her husband's party will try to forge ever closer links with America? They are an American baseball shoe, after all.
Casual
Was she trying to tell us that she is oh so hip and casual and cool, a follower of street fashion? Or was it just that she is pregnant and her feet have already started swelling something awful?
And what about Sarah? Gosh that woman has my sympathy. Her children are still at the age where, ideally, she would be always dressed in something that can easily be sluiced down, yet her outfits have to be nuanced ensembles that say prime minister's wife, successful career woman, great mother, supporter of the British fashion industry, supportive spouse and attractive woman. Plus, ideally, they should not have any visible dirty marks, or make her look fat. It's a big ask, isn't it?
Is there any wonder Sarah occasionally gets it wrong, showing a bit too much chest or wearing something that looks like it used to fit. We've all been there, haven't we?
Plus, both women face an election at a terrible time of year, fashion-wise. There are some of us who would even go so far as to say that only a man would call an election in this tricky, transitional time of year.
Either of them could find themselves exposed in an open-toe shoe in goosebumpy weather, or looking all hot and uncomfortable in something sensibly warm as the unpredictable spring sunshine blasts down.
The only thing we can be sure of is that both will have bought new nighties for May 7 – once Cherie Blair opened the door to her new home the day after the election back in 1997 and revealed her dimpled knees she did her successors a big favour. None of them will ever be caught napping like that again.
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Weather for Leeds
Thursday 24 May 2012
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