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Jayne Dawson: A certain sense of oneself
GO on, tell me you weren't shocked. You were, weren't you? Had to be.
Who in the whole nation could have seen those newly-released photographs of the Queen as a child, barely above toddler stage she was, and not shrieked at the television: "She looks exactly the same".
It's true. Our monarch, now aged 84, has not essentially altered a jot since the age of four: her self-contained demeanour, her serious expression, her correct stance, even her hair until it went white, are all exactly the same. I didn't actually notice her wave at anyone, but if she had done it would have been that rotating elbow move, I guarantee.
If pictures existed of the Queen at the moment of birth I think it's a pretty safe bet that she would have looked exactly like herself then – a bit sombre, a bit on the verge of saying: "oh, for goodness sake..."
It's not a criticism. I like the Queen. Don't know why because – and you'll find this hard to believe – I don't actually know her. I just like her.
Come to think of it, I do know the reason – it's exactly because she never changes. Say what you like about our Elizabeth, she is at the still centre of our whirligig of a world.
There she stands, has always stood, with that look, those handbags, and those two-inch heels while the rest of us are busy shapeshifting.
We throw ourselves in and out of disposable fashion, in and out of different hairdressers, we get fat, we get thin, we get happy and unhappy, and all with lunatic speed.
But it's an old-fashioned quality, this business of going through life with just one version of yourself, there are few people who manage it and fewer all the time.
If you want to know where the Queen got her unchanging look and her unchanging nature then let's just say the apple didn't fall very far from the tree. Let's just say there haven't been many 99-year-olds still gamely doing the rounds with a big smile, a pair of platforms and a widebrimmed hat, and leave it at that.
Of course, all men used to be pretty safe bets for an unchanging version of themselves: they didn't change their hair they just lost it, they didn't change their style they just bought it in bigger sizes – but then David Beckham was invented, and reinvented, and there was, back in the beginning, that sarong moment. And all that changed.
It definitely involves the outer fripperies like clothes and hair, this ability to remain the same throughout life, to be this concentrated, unchanging version of yourself. But it's about a lot more more than that.
Some might say it's the sign of a boring person, but I don't think so. I call it admirable to be born with your sense of identity so intact that nothing ever changes, that life never knocks you about enough to change anything. It suggests a person looking out at the world, not letting the world look in. Plus, a certain British stoicism. I imagine Winston Churchill came into the world exactly like his older self, possibly minus the cigar.
The major downside is that to be this kind of person you also need to be born pretty much middle-aged. Some people are, aren't they? They emerge into the world fully-formed versions of themselves already, all characteristics already in place, with no need to add anything or knock any edges off.
They have a grown-up look in their eye and a certain attitude to the world before they even leave the maternity ward. That photographer captured on film trying to get the four year old Princess Elizabeth to smile, he acted younger than she did. Did you notice?
But the older people like the Queen get, the more admirable their staying power. I mean, in the end, what was not to admire about Barbara Cartland?
There is, obviously, a more modern version of this unchanging nature – there are plenty of people around whose faces and bodies never change, though the most extreme examples live in Hollywood. Demi Moore has her look set in ...I was going to say stone, but plastic might be more appropriate and, for that matter, so does Sharon Stone.
That's not the same thing at all though. Keeping the same face is a matter of staying employable, accepting society's ageism, and having a load of dosh.
But that's doesn't count. That isn't what being an unchanging version of yourself is all about.
Being unchanging in an ever-changing world takes some perseverance. Who can maintain it when there are so many looks to choose from, so many great hair products, so many fashion styles, so much encouragement to change the very essence of yourself?
To resist the pressure is probably a much undervalued quality. Have a look at your own baby pictures and see how you've done.
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Thursday 24 May 2012
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