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Debbie Leigh: Love at first bite
I'M preparing to enter a weird new world…and I'm slightly worried about whether I will make it out unscathed.
Apparently around 40 million people have already done this thing I'm planning to do, and I'm afraid from what I've seen, few escape without it changing their lives dramatically.
And not for the better.
Yesterday I would have scoffed at the very thought of it but today I have made this life-changing decision.
And it's final.
I've decided to read the Stephenie Meyer book Twilight.
There surely can't be anyone who needs this explaining but just in case – I'm on about the teen vampire love story turned blockbuster movie series that has turned half the world into Twi-Addicts.
(I wanted to say Twaddict – but that word apparently already means Twitter addict.)
The pale-faced dead dude is called Edward, the girl whose neck he wants to bite is Bella and they're in the same class at school –that's about as much as I know.
It looks like a cheesy, slightly-scary teen flick, and sounds like it's written for girls still dreaming of their first snog – not women who've been married so long they've forgotten how.
Yet thousands of females who should be old enough to know better – including a few who seem otherwise sane – have gone completely gaga over it.
One admitted feeding her children on cereal for a week so she didn't waste time cooking when she could be reading the Twilight books; another has been to the cinema to watch the first film 35 times and another has read all four books nine times.
Millions spend every waking hour chatting about the characters, actors and storylines online.
Clearly, I figured, these are ladies with too much time and not enough excite-ment in their lives.
But after spluttering in disbelief at their ridiculousness I decided I should really find out for myself what all the fuss is about rather than scoffing at something I know nothing about.
So, I'm preparing to take my first step into the Twilight zone – buying the book.
My brother shook his head in despair when I told him my plans, and I'm already cringing at the thought of entering the Twilight section of the book store.
Yes, it actually has its own special corner, where obsessive fans can not only buy the four books in the series but also feast on other vampire-related fiction and devour pages of R- Pattz photos.
See, I'm already learning the lingo – for those of you who are even more Twignorant than me, R-Pattz is short-hand for the actor who plays fang-tastic Edward – the undeniably dishy Robert Pattinson.
(Grrr, just found out Twignorant also refers to Twitter but I don't care, I'm keeping it in.)
But it seems vampire fever is sweeping the world at the moment, what with True Blood proving such a hit as well – and that was a case of once bitten, forever smitten.
So maybe Twilight will sink its fangs into me even harder.
So if there's someone else writing this column instead of me next Tuesday you can safely assume I've succumbed to its power.
In which case I'll probably be lying on my bed, poring over the final, fourth book, with two hungry cats miaowing at me to hurry up and feed them.
Just in case I do get bitten as badly as all those other crazy fools, I'm going to spend this evening savouring the last few hours of the era that will perhaps forever more be known as BT. (Before Twilight).
Cheryl rocks!
NOW for a slightly embarrassing confession.
I was gutted to miss tapas bar Azucar's first birthday celebrations last week, as I know it will have gone off with a bang.
I even had the following day off.
But I was exhausted and Mr N was away, so I indulged in a truly girly treat – snuggled up on the sofa in my PJs with a tub of ice-cream and a sack of chocolate coins.
And just when you thought I couldn't get any less cool, I spent the evening glued to the TV, loving Children in Need Rocks the Royal Albert Hall and falling in love with Cheryl Cole all over again.
Embarrassing, maybe.
But it was flippin' good fun.
And it didn't cost a single penny, unless you count the choccy ones.
'Tache for cash
YOU'VE probably noticed some of the men you know have recently become a lot hairier.
Don't worry, we're not being invaded by werewolves as well as vampires –although having seen the trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon, maybe that's not strictly true.
It's just a brilliantly blokey way of raising awareness funds for men's health problems, such as prostate cancer.
Women march through London in their bras, chaps grow top-lip ticklers.
So in case you weren't sure why there were suddenly lots of fellas sporting (generally unflattering) facial fuzz, it's all part of the month-long charity event Movember.
And, if you can't grow a Mo, make sure you're supporting your Mo bro!
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Weather for Leeds
Sunday 12 February 2012
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