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Debbie Leigh: The great pick 'n' mix disaster
IF you've ever felt ripped off after a trip to the pic 'n' mix, feast your eyes on this picture.
Like anyone with a sweet tooth, it was impossible for me to ignore a huge city centre sweet counter that had seemingly suddenly sprung up just to torment me on my way to buy a birthday card.
Knowing the dangers that lay ahead – massively lightening the load of my wallet while thickening the width of my waistline – I tackled it cautiously, fully aware of how despite one's best efforts at restraint, those mouthwatering goodies can pile up in that deceptively large candy-striped bag.
With that in mind, I was gob-smacked when the bloke weighed it and told me it would be 5.02.
If this was me at my most abstemious, how much could it have cost if I'd let my desires run wild?
My mouth dropped open wide enough to fit the contents of the entire whole sweet counter in before I stammered, "Oh my God, 5? Really? That's a fortune."
Humorless
The stallholder was utterly humorless – think Arnie in Terminator – and simply replied in an Schwarz-enegger-style accent and robotic monotone: "It's not a fortune, it's 5."
I pointed out that, strictly speaking, 5 was a fortune to pay for a bag of sweets and asked if he could take some out to make it cheaper, say 2.50.
To be honest I didn't even want 2.50 worth of sweets – in fact I had pretty much lost my appetite by this point – but being oh so typically British, I felt sheepish at the thought of wasting his time if I just told him I no longer wanted his unusually heavy/ expensive sweets.
But he remained thoroughly unimpressed and took advantage of my pathetic "don't want to make a fuss or be a pain" approach, convincing me to settle for 2.92's worth.
I picked out a couple of sugary treats as I walked back to the office but it wasn't until I got home and opened up the bag that I realised what a terrible deal I'd got.
Ladies and gentlemen, this photo shows the sweets I paid almost 3 for. (There are four missing, so imagine another piece of fudge, another mushroom, another liquorice roll and a giant chocolate jazzie and that was my lot.)
Oh, and when I say giant jazzie, I don't mean one the size and weight of my head, I mean about three times as thick as a normal one and slightly wider.
Old-fashioned
It works out to over 10p a sweet, for what are mostly old-fashioned penny sweets.
I was in such a state of shock I had to eat most of them to bring myself round.
Obviously there was a sign up stating the price – 1.39 per 100g – but who knows how many sweets equal 100g?
Clearly not me.
Everything was sugar-coated – except the price.
As you can imagine, my bag of treats ended up tasting rather (apple) sour.
Dressed to the max
I THINK it's fairly obvious from the pic 'n' mix debacle that I'm not the world's best shopper.
Usually I spend months agonising over a coveted item, wanting it but not willing to part with the cash, wondering whether it really suits me and whether I can find a better/cheaper version elsewhere if I just keep looking.
I did this with gladiator sandals last year and ended up completely missing the boat and spending the summer in a mate's hand-me-down flip-flops instead.
But this time round, for once, I've taken the advice of every magazine and fashionista on the planet and actually invested in a summer wardrobe essential right at the beginning of the season, so I get maximum wear out of it, and how fitting – as it's a maxi dress.
Now if only there was a way to pick up all the other fashion must-haves I need without that other "max" and maxing out my cards.
Gemma's a walking marvel
THE more I see and hear of Gemma Arterton the more I like.
She's clearly a little bit bonkers. Not only did she send jaws dropping around the country when she confessed to be being born with six fingers on each hand and having the extras removed, she has even said she will be "disappointed" if her own children don't have the mini deformity.
She charmed the pants off Jonathan Ross the other week, and half the nation I reckon – with her movie star version of girl-next-door looks and her down-to-earth attitude.
She seems unfazed by accusations she has a "common" accent, and both her new films, blockbuster Prince of Persia and Brit-flick The Disappearance of Alice Creed, look brilliant.
But best of all, on top of all that comes the revelation that she apparently has incredibly dexterous toes and is adept at picking things up with them – so much so, that crew on a recent film allegedly nicknamed her "Monkey Foot".
Now, coming from a family whose favourite challenge is picking up a pen between your toes then using it to write your signature, and the greatest accolade around is to be labeled monkey feet, I can only rejoice at the news this Bond girl could in fact be an honorary Leigh.
I always thought she was something special. Now I have the proof.
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Weather for Leeds
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: 12 C to 25 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: 10 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North east
