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Debbie Leigh: Smitten by vampires
I THINK it's important to admit when you're wrong about something – so here goes.
This time last week I was a Twi-hater, although I didn't have any idea that term even existed.
Basically I had dismissed the Twilight vampire phenomenon as something for teens and losers, despite the fact I had never even come close to picking up the book or watching the movie.
The fact that everywhere I looked – on the TV, radio, in magazines – there were obsessive fans babbling about vampire love and R-Pattz was enough to convince me I would rather spend the night in the jungle with Katie Price than get involved with such a flaky-sounding fad.
Knowing full well I'm an outrageous book snob, and spotting a chance to take the literary high ground, I vowed to attempt to read it so I could then legitimately rip it to pieces as a slice of sentimental slop.
Well, that plan seriously backfired.
Less than 24 hours after writing my last column I had helped Stephenie Meyer a little further along the way to becoming the richest woman on the planet.
I bought the book, started reading and within a few chapters I was as hooked on Twilight as True Blood's Jason Stackhouse is on "V".
Around 48 hours later I had finished it and had officially turned to the dark side.
And I realised that in less time than it takes for a human to be turned into a vampire (three days, according to Twilight) I'd gone from Twi-hater to Twi-hard.
Just like millions of lovesick fools before me I had fallen for the charms of a fictional 'monster'.
And just like them I immediately started browsing the internet for photos of Robert Pattinson as the Adonis-like vampire Edward Cullen.
I couldn't concentrate on my work until I'd changed my Facebook status to "Debbie Leigh has fallen under the spell of Twilight and is in love with a vampire".
And like any addict, I was in a hurry to find my next fix.
As soon as I finished work I rang round several shops to find my nearest dealer.
And when, after two painful nos, I was told "yes, it's in stock", I let out a squeal of excitement before dashing into town to snap up New Moon and Eclipse, the second and third books in the series.
I was already into my overdraft and with just a few days left until payday I probably should have waited but like any junkie, my desire for another hit completely outweighed my cash-flow problems.
When I got home I ditched any last scrap of dignity and joined the Facebook group "Because of Edward Cullen, human boys have lost their charm".
Well, seriously, who wants frilly-shirted Mr Darcy when you could be visualising/ogling a bare-chested, all-powerful beauty like Edward?
That's the thing about Twilight, boys forced to watch the film with over-excited girlfriends are all disappointed that there's no Blade-style slaying.
But the reason women love it is because it's so romantic and passionate – a modern love story that makes us go weak at the knees.
Plus most of them can't stand the fact that since we discovered Edward, we would rather be with him than with them.
Ok, it's not a work of literary genius but it's as more-ish as Ben & Jerry's ice-cream.
And far from being ashamed of my new obsession, I'm happier than a style-slave at London Fashion Week.
My so-called friends are mocking me and calling me "a big girl" but I have no qualms in admitting I'm a fanpire.
And like any convert, I now spend several times a day preaching the virtues of Twilight to anyone who, like me just a week ago – has no idea what they're missing!
I'm seriously counting down the days until Mr N goes away this weekend so I can watch the first film.
Frustration
And nothing can describe the frustration of carting New Moon around with me all week but not having a spare second to read it.
On the plus side, it seems I'm already developing some vampire-like characteristics, like precognition.
Last week I joked I might end up so hooked on Twilight I would be too busy reading all four books to write this week's column.
Incredibly my premonition has pretty much come true.
I have a week off and I plan to spent it devouring the three remaining novels and watching both films.
Like Meyer's vampires, I might not even sleep.
Wow, it brings a whole new meaning to From Desk til Dawn.
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Weather for Leeds
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Today
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