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Debbie Leigh: Out to master Glasters
WELLIES? Check. Plastic poncho? Check. Hand sanitiser gel? Check. Shewee? Erm, not yet, but I may well purchase one if they're as good as they sound.
For anyone who's never heard of a Shewee – it's a portable piddling device for us ladies, to help us avoid the universal horror that is the stinking, fly-infested festival bog.
Think The Full Monty, where the women use the men's loos and you get a rough idea of how it works!
So clearly, with a shopping list as glamorous as this, there's only one place I can be heading this weekend.
No, not Skegness, Glastonbury.
Although somehow I can't help thinking Kate Moss's packing checklist won't look anything like mine.
Rocker boyfriend in tow? Check. Super cool, trend-setting outfits for three days and three nights? Check. Someone to lug around all my make-up and hair products? Check.
Oh to be a multi-millionaire supermodel.
Still, as that's not something I'm likely to achieve anytime soon I may as well get back to reality.
There's now just three nights to go until the country's biggest music festival gets under way and I just know I didn't give the contents of my rucksack this much thought first time round.
The thing is, that was seven years ago, when my main concern was how many cans of cider I could realistically cram into my bag and carry several miles from the car to the tent.
These were the heady, good old days, pre washout Glastonbury in 2006 when it hit the headlines with pictures of people paddling canoes through the campsite, rivers running through tents and cases of pretty young things with trench foot.
When I was there in 2003, I didn't even think to take wellies.
Now, no-one in their right mind would turn up without them.
But back then it never even crossed my mind that the weather would be anything other than glorious sunshine, and that's exactly what it was.
I turned up with a rucksack stuffed with super-short shorts, vests, booze and around five packs of Supernoodles to fuel the non-stop party.
Incredibly – I had everything I needed.
Second time round, at the grand old age of 33, I'm more like a boy scout, determined to be prepared for every eventuality.
I think, perhaps, I'm showing my age.
I've been working my way through the Glastonbury camping checklist and already laid out on the spare bed are moist wipes (lots of), tissues, a wind-up torch (does anyone else aged 33 own such a thing?), mini first aid kit, sun cream (ever the optimist), loo roll, and cans of dry shampoo.
Five-a-day
I know I'm getting old because instead of plotting exactly how to get backstage and meet Gorillaz, I'm spending my time planning a shopping list that includes bags of fruit and healthy snacks like nuts, in the vain hope of trying to get at least a couple of my five-a-day.
I'm also hoping to beg, borrow or steal a camp bed from a friend – rather than slumming it on the lumpy ground.
I've even washed our sleeping bags – which might seem a bit like that ridiculous idea of washing your hair before going to the hairdresser's (which I also do) but if you're going to subject your nose to Eau de Festival Toilette day-in, day-out, I'm hoping a bed that smells like apples and primroses is going to feel like heaven!
Last time, the two-man tent was literally just a crash-pad, somewhere to lay my head after drunkenly stumbling over countless guy ropes on the way back from the Pyramid Stage and to dive out of, bleary-eyed, shortly after sunrise when the suffocating heat became unbearable.
This time I'm hoping our spacious bell-tent will be a little oasis of tranquility, a clean, fresh-smelling haven from the muddy madness.
And just to really show my age, the last time I went to Glastonbury it was acceptable to throw on any old clothes, before the advent of festival-chic, launched in 2005 by Kate Moss in her gold hotpants and wellies.
Now, if Leeds Festival over the past few years is anything to go by, it's going to be a boho-inspired fashion show out there.
So, on top of all this, not only have I got to devise some weather-appropriate outfits any festival fashionista would be proud of, I've also got to find the time and money for a spray tan and manicure before we set off.
Now, if I can just get my hands on a Shewee…
Everyone's a winner with the World Cup
FOR sports fans it's set to be one of the busiest, most exciting weeks of the year.
They can now add Wimbledon to all the World Cup "excitement" and look forward to around 100 hours of sporting coverage on the main TV channels – all before the weekend.
I know this will trigger huge grumbles from millions of women and non-sporty types but I'm certainly not one of them.
I've been loving the World Cup so far – not just for the chance to cast my eye over fine sporting specimens like Beckham, Benny Feilhaber, Fernando Torres and Thierry Henry – but because it means no more wasted evenings spent searching for something decent to watch.
Non-stop soccer keeps everyone happy.
Mr N sticks the footie on and I get to snuggle up with the cats and read to my heart's content, with no interruptions.
What's not to like?
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Weather for Leeds
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: 12 C to 25 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: 10 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North east
