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Debbie Leigh: Knitting's just not in my character
OK, so everyone seems to have caught the knitting bug – except for me, that is.
I had such high hopes for my latest hobby, and a really good feeling that it was going to be something I was actually good at.
Instead I've found I'm hopeless.
And I think it's safe to say my dreams of knitting everyone's Christmas presents this year have been well and truly dashed.
Far from being spurred into action to put in hours of practice and conquer this supposedly easy pastime, I'm now on the edge of just giving up.
In the meantime, the rest of the world is going knitting crazy.
As I type this column Harry Hill's The K Factor – So You Think You Can Knit is on TV, featuring knitted versions of Cheryl Cole and Simon Cowell and a heap of weird woolly characters sent in by his fans.
Knitting – on primetime TV?
I knew I was on-trend when I took up this hobby – following in the clickety-clicking sticks of Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts – but I didn't realize it was about to go this big.
Talk about having your finger on the pulse eh?
(Clearly I do realise that anyone who is actually a trend-setter would never use the phrase "finger on the pulse".)
But as well as Harry, schools are getting in on the act too.
A school in the Midlands has drafted in the WI to teach pupils, parents and staff how to knit so they in turn can pass the skill on and prevent it from dying out altogether.
And my last column whinging about my failings as a knitter prompted a flurry of responses by phone and email from concerned readers who are avid knitters, offering help and advice on how to keep calm with the yarn.
However it must be said that some comments, clearly designed to make me feel better, only made we feel even more of a loser.
Like when one granny told me she had taught her nine-year-old granddaughter how to knit a row, purl a row – my particular blindspot – and the little girl picked it up before you could say knitting ain't for nerds.
Yet after weeks of lessons – well the two I've actually managed to attend – I'm still the knitting numpty who gets in a muddle every time I look up from my needles.
Consequently I have around seven feeble beginnings of knitted mobile phone covers (not my choice – our first knitting class task) lying around the house, that have all gone wrong in the early stages.
My mother-in-law, a wizard with wool, even offered to take my most recent effort home with her to unravel a section, neaten it up, then post it back to me.
Effectively she was offering to do my homework for me so I could look slightly less of a dunce at my final knitting class – which, incidentally, is tonight.
Another older lady also took pity on me after reading last week's column.
kind-hearted Sheila, from Cross Gates, rang me to offer me a one-to-one tutorial next time I get in a tangle!
Can you believe it?
On the one hand I was touched by the fact she wanted to help me.
On the other, it only confirmed what I already knew – that I'm about as useful to the knitting community as Peaches Geldof is to the DJ fraternity.
Thankfully I already have my poor mum on speed dial to check when I should be knitting and when I should be purling, so I shouldn't need to call on Sheila too often.
Still, at least I have given it a go.
Maybe it's just that crochet is more my thing…
Cats are the clever choice
YOU don't need to be Einstein to have already worked out the outcome of a new study into cat and dog ownership.
This research has found that clever pet owners prefer cats to dogs.
Based on the number of feline fanciers in our office and who read the Yorkshire Evening Post, I am in no doubt whatsoever that this is absolutely true.
The basis for the finding, published in the Veterinary Record journal, is that people with degrees apparently devote more time to their careers and find a cat easier to care for.
Well I'm sure the 10.3m kits across the UK would have something to say about that analysis of the facts.
I imagine they would take a very different view – and take all the credit for their human owners/servants being deemed more intelligent than those who devote their spare time to scooping poop for dumb mutts.
After all, cats have bigger brains than dogs, in proportion to their body size.
And they apparently contain more cells, with about 1.4million more devoted to complex functions such as memory and attention than dogs' brains.
So maybe cleverer humans prefer a cleverer animal to share their home?
I think it's even more simple than that.
The truth is, who could avoid notching up a few extra IQ points when under the influence of such wonderful, wily creatures?
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Weather for Leeds
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: 11 C to 24 C
Wind Speed: 12 mph
Wind direction: North east
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Temperature: 9 C to 22 C
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