A father accused of murdering his five-year-old son told a jury he hit him without realising it while suffering from mental problems.
Pazeer Ahmed said he loved his son Haroon and never intended to cause him serious injury but sometimes he did not have control of himself.
He told Leeds Crown Court “there is no way I intended to kill my son, I loved him to bits”.
Ahmed 34 of Aberford Road, Wakefield, denies murder but has admitted the manslaughter of his son on January 23 this year. In evidence he said he began to suffer stress from about 2008 onwards and stopped talking to his family. “I used to have nightmares almost every day and bad dreams as well.”
Haroon had been living with his wife in Pakistan but in October last year it was agreed he should return to the UK to start education.
He said his family did not know about his mental problems.
Ahmed denied causing his son burns with cigarettes but accepted causing one burn to his leg while ironing.
“All of a sudden very powerful images came into my head. I pressed the iron on his leg.
“I didn’t intend to hurt him.
“He had done nothing to deserve it.
“I used to hit my son sometimes when I washed him and powerful images came into my head.
“Other times I had nightmares and would lash out.”
He said when he came to his senses and his son told him, “Dad you have hit me,” he would be really sorry.
Between November 3, 2011, and the day his son died these things happened regularly, not every single day but perhaps every other day, two or three times a week.
“It would just happen without me realizing. I didn’t wish to hurt him or to cause him pain.
“I realised as time went on that these attacks were beyond my control. No one knew about my mental problems. I wanted to tell my family and social services but I was so confused. I didn’t tell anybody.”
He said on the night of January 22 something came into his head when he was washing Haroon and he hit the boy’s head against the bathroom wall: “It happened so quick.”
The trial continues.