The Bloke
CHRISTMAS cards, eh?
They're all very nice and festive but it does seem an awful lot of effort to go to just to wish someone happy Christmas.
Especially in our house, where the Missus has instituted a card-writing regime that would shame the sweatiest of sweatshops this side of Central Asia.
My theory is that this Hallmark-induced frenzy is a hangover from the post-wedding period and the resultant scramble to send out thank you cards before people forgot what we were actually thanking them for.
We've just about managed it, although it doesn't help that the Missus is a far nicer person than I am and insists on sending thank you cards to anyone who crossed our path in a four-week period prior to our nuptials.
So far the list, along with all our guests, includes the vicar, the organist, the reception venue, the dress shop, the florist and the woman who did her nails.
She hasn't mentioned sending one to the individual waiters who served up the food yet but surely it can only be a matter of time.
Now the same production line is in full swing for the Christmas cards.
This is how the misery unfolds:
1. The Missus draws up a list of recipients in her "special book".
2. The card-writing commences.
3. I am summoned with a blood-curdling shout to double-check what has been written or to make suggestions during the writing process.
4. A tick is put next to the name in the special book to show that the Christmas card has been written.
5. The envelope is addressed.
6. The card is passed to me to sign and put in the correct envelope.
7. The card is passed back to the Missus who takes it back out of the envelope and checks it again.
8. The card is put back into the envelope and sealed.
9. Another tick is then placed next to the name in the special book to show that it is ready to be posted.
10. A stamp is placed on the envelope.
11. The card sits gathering dust in a corner of our living room for a few days.
12. We remember the card is still sitting there and manage to drag ourselves to the post box 30 feet from the end of the drive to post it.
13. A final triumphant tick is placed in the special book to indicate the process for this card is now complete.
14. We start work on card number two.
Given this labour-intensive system, I hope you won't be offended if you don't get a card from me this year.
Although if we keep going at the rate we are, I'm reasonably optimistic we might just have one ready for you for Christmas 2010.
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Weather for Leeds
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today
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