The Bloke
I KEEP spotting pigeons doing the strangest of things.
At first I thought they were sunbathing, the way they were all sitting there in City Square with their necks tucked into their bodies and their chests puffed out.
Then I realised that despite being surely the dumbest of all God's creatures (their sole attribute being an ability to fly back to the person who's been keeping them captive in a cramped loft for years on end) even pigeons aren't that thick.
No, what they're doing – and I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong about this – is preparing themselves for their annual mating ritual.
From what I can gather this first stage of the courting process seems to consist of the male pigeons standing in one place for hours on end, talking to no-one and trying their best to look attractive to the opposite sex without realising that in actual fact they look completely ridiculous.
It took me straight back to the middle school discos of my youth which used to see all the lads (including me) standing against the wall on one side of the school hall slurping on Panda Pops and pretending to be dark and mysterious in lurid yellow Slazenger pullovers (ok, just me this time) while the girls gyrated to Edge Of Heaven by Wham!
And I witnessed the modern day equivalent of this bizarre pantomime just last week when me and the Missus trotted along to the fireworks display at Roundhay Park.
Given that our previous Bonfire Nights have been spent at Woodhouse Moor (including one famous occasion when we turned up on the wrong night and had the place completely to ourselves), it was something of a novelty to be able to see the display without a whole load of trees getting in the way because we'd turned up late again.
It was also a change to see we weren't the oldest ones there – something of a challenge at Woodhouse where most of the crowd are students using it as the pre-cursor to a pub crawl.
After the fireworks were over (not as good as last year according to the regulars) we walked along Street Lane to go to the pub and came across groups of teenagers gathered in clusters outside the Co-op.
And there they were: lads with their chests puffed out, saying nothing but desper-ately hoping to catch the eye of one of the girls looking distinctly unimpressed at the other end of the car park.
"Awww, bless them," said the Missus. "They've got nowhere to go."
"They should try City Square," I chuckled. "Yes, they'd fit in very well down there!"
The Missus turned and looked at me like I was a bit of a weirdo.
And then I thanked my lucky stars she wasn't at any of my middle school discos.
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Weather for Leeds
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 0 C to 5 C
Wind Speed: 7 mph
Wind direction: North west
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 4 C to 8 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: North west
