The Bloke
TO be honest my wedding day is still a bit of a blur. Try as I might to remember it all, some details remain stubbornly unwilling to come to mind.
The closest I can get to describing the experience is to compare it to Christmas Day when you're a kid.
You spend months looking forward to it, you can't sleep the night before, and then the day itself goes and passes by in a flash.
Before you know it, you're waking up on Boxing Day to the realisation that you've got to wait another 12 months to do it all again.
The big difference with a wedding, of course, is that you don't get to do it all again in 12 months. Well, not unless you're Liz Taylor that is.
A few moments stand out from the day.
The first being the weather, which was so wet and wild in the morning that my soon-to-be brother-in-law, who had just flown in from Australia, wore a look that was equal parts bewilderment and fear over the breakfast table.
"Never mind," I said, trying to put a brave face on the sideways sheets of driving rain. "At least it's not snowing."
"I dunno mate," he replied, as the windows rattled in their frames. "Give it time."
Then there was the moment when the vicar said I could kiss my bride and I took her in my arms, only to hear this horrible snapping sound as one of the shoulder straps on her dress gave way.
Not to be outdone, the other one went halfway through the photos.
For many brides, this would have been nothing short of disaster and the cue for floods of tears behind a locked bathroom door.
The Missus, being the Missus, simply tucked the straps in her bra, pulled her shrug down a bit lower and kept
smiling, which reminded me (not that I needed it) why I love her.
Although I must admit that when it happened for a third time, necessitating yet another round of emergency repairs carried out by a revolving cast of female relatives, bridesmaids and friends, I
did wonder if we were ever going to get to do our first dance.
This wouldn't have bothered me too much – particularly as my sole tactic for surviving the ordeal was to cling to the Missus for dear life – except for the fact it meant the disco playlist I'd spent countless hours crafting might go to waste, especially as the venue had given us a curfew of midnight.
My two best men, fresh from their unintentionally hilarious attempt at a joint speech, tried to buy us time by winding back the clock above the bar but the manager wasn't fooled and I had to fast forward the music by an hour.
Fortunately it meant we still had time for a group singalong to Champagne Supernova, unfortunately it wasn't enough time to skip an auntie's request for Delaney's Donkey by Val Doonican.
Still, somehow it was a fitting end to a very surreal, and wonderful, day.
One that neither me nor the Missus will hopefully ever repeat – even though, despite the stress, the diets (hers was a bit more disciplined than mine) and mounting panic, we rather wish we could.
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Weather for Leeds
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 0 C to 5 C
Wind Speed: 7 mph
Wind direction: North west
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 4 C to 8 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: North west
