I'M feeling very smug about reinventing myself as an intellectual – or at least, someone who now regularly has their nose wedged between the pages of a book.
I had confirmation my metamorphosis was complete when Mr N moaned: "You're always reading these days."
Yes, I have finally stepped on board the Richard and Judy bandwagon and created a book club.
Forget Facebook and Bikram Yoga, anybody who's a
nybody gets their kicks from lit these days.
Crikey, even castaways cut off from the outside world for goodness knows how many years – The Others in Lost – had a book club going before Oceanic 815 crashed on the island.
It's a good excuse to get together with pals but more importantly it seemed the best way to boost my book quota, which had plummeted from around one a fortnight to one a year without me even noticing.
I thought it was a step towards becoming a more well-rounded individual – squeezing in a more mentally-challenging pastime alongside my voracious appetite for Champagne, canapés, dressing up and dancing.
I never realised how accurate my prediction would be.
Just a couple of months in and I am definitely more well rounded than pre-book club, just not in the way I intended.
It's my waist and derriere that have expanded more noticeably than my mind – thanks to my daily quandary of whether to exercise brain or body.
Since reawakening my inner bookworm, I've found there just isn't time for both.
Drag myself to the gym and tone up those bingo wings or stretch out on the sofa with a novel and drift away to another world while my muscles turn to fat?
How can I spend an hour and a half on the treadmill when I still have 400 pages to get through before the next meeting?
No-one wants to be the dummy of the class who can't read as quickly as the others.
It's exactly the motivation I needed to make time for what used to be my favourite hobby.
The side effect is that it's robbing me of my drive to create a body beautiful.
I know it's meant to be inner beauty that counts, but literary debates on the separation of self and narrative technique pale into insignificance when you discover you've developed a severe case of muffin-top just before a night out.
The ever-looming deadline of the BC meeting means not only less time for exercise but also less chance to party.
And an over-ambitious book choice will have you cancelling all social engagements, not to mention most interaction with your other half, until you've finished.
I'd forgotten how powerful a good book could be.
It consumes me like an addiction – all I can think about is what might happen next and when I can get my next fix.
But if I can't control it, it could cost me my health, my looks, my social life, even my marriage.
At this rate the next meeting I'll be attending will be Book Club Addicts Anonymous.
That Richard and Judy have got a lot to answer for.
Laughing all the way
I'M writing this with the tracks of tears staining my cheeks – after laughing so hard I cried.
As well as being the best possible start to any day it reminded me to put the date April 26 in my diary.
That's when I plan to make my debut at Laughter Club in Chapel Allerton – where people get together and perform "gentle, easy laughing exercises".
It's not just for fun – research shows it benefits the heart, blood pressure and immune system.
There are now Laughter Clubs around the globe and May 1 is World Laughter Day – when people all over the planet are urged to laugh for no reason for at least one minute.
After all, it's a universal language, whatever your race, religion or political beliefs.
I'm secretly hoping our session ends up like that scene in Mary Poppins where Uncle Albert gets everyone laughing so hard they all float up to the ceiling.
One thing's for sure, it should be a giggle.
Riding the waves of style
I'M always in awe of my best friends as they're all such high achievers. But C's latest role will take some beating.
She's due to set sail from Qingdao, China, in the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race on Sunday.
By day she's a broadcast assistant, by night she's a party animal, but after winning a competition to join the crew she's now become a sailor – at least for the next three months.
Her home from home will be the 68ft yacht Jamaica, racing across the Pacific to Hawaii then Santa Cruz, California.
From there she will sail on to Panama City, finally reaching Jamaica around May 19.
She will have to brave freezing temperatures, winds of up to 40 knots and huge waves, never mind the primitive washing and toilet facilities.
But as a true fashionista, possibly her most impressive accomplishment is that as she prepares for her maritime adventure one of the key trends this spring is the nautical look.
This girl is taking on-trend to another level.
And as her land-locked BFs follow her progress online we can show solidarity – without experiencing any of the hardships – by dressing in blue and white striped shirts, admiral of the fleet-style jackets and brass buttons.
Nautical but nice!
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